The Jazz Fusion

Chapter I: The Jazz Fusion Returns ~Heroes of the Future~

*clickity clackity clickity clackity clickity-...*

Josuke types out his report on today's stonks update.

He whispers words to himself as he typed down the important words.

"Fuckin' dumb stupid life... car broke down and I can't get stupid insurance... Stupid life... Stupid nobody... Stupid-..."

*vrung*

*burp* "Hey," said Rick.

Josuke turns around and sees Rick. "What the hell do you want?"

Rick enters from a portal looking very drunk and droopy. "How do I look... *burp...* Josuke?"

Josuke stares at Rick. "You look like you're about to leave Morty to buy some milk, man."

Rick looks around Josuke's place of work and sees other people in cubicles beside him. Rick looks around and squints his eyes. "Oh my God! You're an office employee in Krusty-Plankton Industries!? How sad is that!? HAHAHAHA!!!"

Everyone there looks at Rick and squints their eyes.

"No offense to any of you," said Rick.

"What do you want, Rick?" Josuke sighs in malcontent.

"Something tells me you're in need... NO!!! You want a new job!" laughed Rick.

"Are you going to recruit me into the Jazz Fusion again?"

"Yes-Yo, Daddy-Oh!" laughed Rick. "Whaddya say, champ? Would you join us into this Multiverse of Madness?"

"Look... Everyone quit, okay? I don't think those guys would ever wanna go back together... I went to college and I just didn't have enough time to be with them..."

"Really? You honestly don't miss any of the weird fun adventures you had with those six idiots?"

"Nope. And honestly, you look like a drunk sulfur-crested cockatoo."

"Really, now?" Rick laughs. "Since when was the last time you laughed? When Erina-?"

"Erina broke up with me because she said I was too 'nice' to her," said Josuke.

"Yeah! That was ten years ago, Josuke! Look at you! The spitting image of Miguel JoJo!"

"Hey!" Josuke stands up to Rick and points at him in the face. "Mr. Reaper was a good human being in our world! Don't compare him to a...!
Slob like me..."

"He's also the Rickest human being in all of these worlds. You know... Other than me since I'm a constant."

"What do you want, Rick?" asked Josuke.

*clickity clackity*

"Come on, Josuke! You know you wanna go back out there! Help change the world!"

"Yeah? Well... I'm not a little kid anymore, Rick! Things aren't just awehsomeh for me, right now."

"Josuke... You're a hero," said Rick. "I'm surprised that you're still single even after everything you've done for everyone in the Omniverse. That even after one epic adventure, you're still at the world's rock bottom! Pretty fuckin' common for a protagonist to be a loser all of the time! But unlike most protagonists, you already had your adventure, Higashikata. You just left it!"

Josuke remembers all the times they've had fun together. He sighs.

Josuke sighs. "Fine! Let's get this over with."

Rick smiles. "Trust me. You won't... *burp!!!* ...regret this!"

Rick blasts a portal out of nowhere.

"Wait, my Resignation Letter-!"