Spelivia Diaries: Shots of Love

Cabin Aftermath

"It doesn't matter, I mean it, were done, for good this time, I never want to see you again!"

Those words and Layla's tear-stained face were on replay in his mind as he paced the floor. He didn't intend for her to find out about him and Liv's kiss from Vegas that way, but no matter how it came out, he was relieved she finally knew the truth. His intentions weren't to hurt her, and he knew he did but on the other side of things, he couldn't hide from his true feelings anymore. He had fallen deeply in love with his best-friend, Olivia Baker and there was no erasing or changing that. A weekend alone turned into a weekend with friends that ended in complete triumph, and broken relationships and hurt feelings. His mind was everywhere, and he needed to clear some of it out. He grabbed the keys heading out the door and hit the freeway going back to his dad's cabin. He pulled back up getting out, locking the door behind him, and jogging inside bypassing the abandoned car in the corner. He walked right in and was startled by the last person he wasn't expecting to see, at least not this soon.

"Liv?? You're still here?" She turned around meeting his face with a frown.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you like this, it's just Asher and I kinda ended things...officially tonight and he felt it was best I ride home with Jordan and Simone, but they had left before I got a chance to catch them, so I- "He stopped her holding his hand up not letting her explain further.

"I get it Liv, it's fine really, I just thought I would be here...alone..." He said irritably with Liv slightly offended by his choice of words, with her slowly folding her arms across her chest scrunching her nose up at him.

"Sorry I got in the way of you being alone, I'll just leave" She talked hastily brushing past him before he caught her arm in time.

"Liv wait, I'm sorry it's not you, it's just.... a lot happened tonight and I'm still tryna process it all..." He spoke walking to sit on the sofa. Liv took a long pause before walking around the sofa to sit next to him.

"I know...I get it.... tonight, was a lot for.... the both of us..." she whispered twiddling her thumbs.

"How are you holding up?" She shrugged looking at him.

"I'm ok I guess, I didn't expect any of this to happen, not now, and certainly not like this....it just got way too messy, especially for two people who aren't even together"

"Hm....you know I've been thinking about that ever since...Vegas....and after tonight, what I can't get past is...why aren't we together?"

"Spence....please" She trailed off avoiding his eyes as he was standing up staring at her with his head slightly tilted to the side.

"What Liv? It's a valid question, I'm just waiting on an answer"

"Just let it go Spencer"

"No, no Liv I can't just let it go, not anymore" Spencer says as a lump formed in her throat.

"Please Spencer! This is a lot for me ok, you don't...you just don't understand" She stood up trying to walk but he drew her arm back holding it to his chest.

"Then help me understand, I know that I sprung a lot on you when we were in Vegas, and I'm not trying to pressure you, but I just...I wanna know, how you're feeling, what you're thinking..." He sternly glanced at her as she batted her doeful eyes at him, making his legs buckle a little beneath his feet.

"I'm sorry Spencer...I...I need some air" She eased herself out of his grasp walking past him and out the door. He clenched his fist gritting his teeth as he paced the floor nervously, not knowing if she was going to return or if that was her way of leaving. He left the door unlocked and retreated to the guest bedroom plopping himself on the bed, facing the ceiling with his arms behind his back. He exhaled briefly, until his eyes drifted into a deep slumber. About an hour later, he woke up with Liv lying next to him, facing upward with tears falling from the sides of her face.

"Liv I- "

"I just spent the last hour, asking myself that question.... why aren't we together? I mean I know how he feels about me, and I know how I feel about him, and it's not because of Asher or...even Layla. I mean I care about her, but our friendship hasn't been the same for an awhile now. I love Asher, I do, but I'm not in love with him, and I don't think I ever was, and now I have to confront the true reason behind that now, and...I'm scared.... scared of everything that comes with that..." Her voice fell to a low whisper as she slowly turned her head to him, tears welt up.

"That's why Spencer. I'm scared of how real this is and....us losing this before it's even begun.... more importantly, I am, really afraid to lose you, I couldn't bear it..." Tears fell from the side of his face as he lifted his hand to her face, caressing her cheek removing a curl strand from her face.

"You're not gonna lose me, Liv, together or not together, you always got me, I promise" She nodded tearfully as he pulled her closer embracing her from the front. They pulled apart resting their heads equally on the pillow, raising their eyes above them.

"So, what happens now?" "I don't know, but I think....I just need some time to...figure all of this out, clear my head some more, okay?" He eased his breathing while she gloomily gazed into his eyes. His hand slid down meeting her fingers, entwining them under the sheet. 

"Okay" She scooted closer to his face, lifting her lips to his as he wrapped an arm around her frame, enjoying this moment between them, for what it was. Spencer knew anything less of being with her would never be enough for him but if this was the only way he could have her, he was taking it. 

See ya'll on the next one, hope you enjoyed!