The friend from Uni.

You are not scary lady.

I was sitting on Spencer's lap since he got the last free chair and I did not wanna stand up for this whole thing.
"Do you know what it is?" Spencer asked as he wrapped his arms around me.
"Nope. But I'm assuming it's boring shit." I told before giving a small yawn.
"Damn it." Jj told as she, Emily and David came over.
"How the hell did you get a chair?" Emily asked us.
"Spencer just sat down and began to read and then me being me just sat in his lap. I will not stand through something boring. Besides, Spencer doesn't mind."
"She's correct I don't."
"I'm going to get a chair." David told before walking off.
"How?!" We all questioned.
"I'm Italian. I'll get a chair!" He exclaimed.
"30 bucks it's just from his office." I told.
"Deal." Spencer told before we high fived.
'Should be fun.'

'This is not fun.'
Turns out this was one of those sexual harassment meetings and that's because someone was upset with how Derek and Penelope talked to one another.
"So, let's talk about sexual harassment. Sexual harassment isn't always a quid pro quo arrangement. Maybe it's a conversation between two co-workers that makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe these co-workers use phrases like... 'Baby girl.', 'Chocolate thunder.' Or...'Where's my big black twelve-pack?'." She read making me chuckle. "Some could even include 'Baby face', or 'The nerdy hot professor', or the most confusing one 'The curls with the flurs and the great arse.'."
"Really Ash?" Spencer whispered.
"I was mucking about with Derek the other week." I whispered back as I tried to quiet my laughter.
"And that creates a what? A hostile work environment." She stated.
"Ayo! Baby face is not sexual harassment!" I stated making her look towards me. "It's a family nickname."
"Miss. Harper I ask you refrain from making comments."
"First of all, don't call me Harper no one calls me Harper. Second of all I won't have to 'refrain from making comments' if you had your facts straight. My family called our very own Dr. Reid here Baby face cause I met and became friends with him when he really had a baby face, and he still does. And lastly, it's Dr. You may continue." I told making her look back towards the board and continue.
"So messages like, 'more cushion for the pushing'.." she began making everyone laugh. "Not appropriate. 'I'll be Coco to your Ice-T.' Not appropriate. 'Flarpy blunderguff.' I don't even know what that means, but not appropriate."
Of course me being me, I was laughing my head off and not taking the whole thing seriously like she was hoping and I think I just made her mad.
"This whole thing is so amusing." I stated to Spencer who in turn was shaking his head and trying not to join in with my laughter.
"Miss. Harper I suggest taking this seriously."
"Again. Call me Ashley not Harper and I have six phds so I suggest you call me Dr. Also how can I take this shit seriously when your taking things said between two people out of context!"
"This coming from the lady sitting in someone's lap. Are you two even dating?"
"No we aren't dating. He took the last free seat and I was not gonna stand up for this shit show. Also your deflecting which means your very self conscious about the fact I'm smarter then you. But I'm being serious. I mean has no one taught any of you to not eavesdrop on conversation that do not concern you?!"
"Ashley!"
"Lady you do not scare me! Use that fucken tone again, it'll do nothin' to me! I've had people point weapons to me and I just sing the duck tails theme song. Nothin' will faze me you dumb ass!"
"I ask you kindly to leave the room now."
"Na. I'll get in trouble for leaving, and I'm more scared of my aunt then I am of you honestly. And you won't get in trouble for kicking me out while I will, and I don't want that."
"Who's your aunt?"
"Erin Strauss. Though not biologically, she was good friends with my mother. Mother dearest is just oh so busy all the time, she's dead tired." I told.
"Ash...." Spencer told as we tried to hold back our laugh.
"Shut up that's funny. But seriously lady, your doing this whole thing fucken wrong!"
"Really now?"
"Yeah." I told getting up and moving next to her before facing the crowd. "Can I get the clicker?"
She just gave me a confused look making me shrug and grab it from her and just click the buttons for my own amusement.
"Here's what we do for sexual harassment everyone. If you hear a conversation happening between two people and it's not about you, ignore it unless they are planning on killing someone and just criminal activities in general really then report that. If the conversation is about you kindly tell them to knock it the fuck off, and if they don't then go to your higher up cover ups.... Oh right, that's just what I call the government can never trust the fuckers really. But go to whoever your boss is or just go to Erin, preferably when we are meant to talk get me out of it. Anywho! Now if someone is touching you inappropriately ask them to stop and making a complaint, if they continue then punch them in the throat and report it. And if you get fired then making a lawsuit and sue the fuck out of this joint. Any questions?!" I asked and several hands went up. "The lady with the lovely pantsuit."
"What if we someone else touch someone inappropriately?"
"Simple. Go over and get the person out of there, see if it was wanted or not and if not then be there for them and help them file the complaint."
"What if it was?" Another person asked.
"People if you guys are fucken horny, deal with it accordingly. And that's by keeping it in your fucken pants and just wait till you get home to fuck like rabbits, my god we are all adults fucken act like adults."
"Ashley I suggest you sit back down."
"Rhonda sit your 5'4 ass down, I'm teaching."
"Your not that taller then me." She stated.
"Actually she is!" Spencer told
"Thanks Spencey! And he is correct, I just slouch really well to not frighten people by my actual height. Moving on. Next question!" I told before pointing to a male.
"What do we do if we want to ask someone out but are too scared to?"
"Ask them out. They say no they say no. It's better to know then to be silent and wonder what could have happened."
"Ashley, will you go out with me?" He asked
"Oh! I'm sorry but I have to decline. I'm in a relationship already. But I like the courage that took, keep at that and you may get yourself a partner sometime." I told before point to Emily. "Yes?"
"Who's your boyfriend?"
"Moving on!"
"Does Pretty know who it is?"
"I've met him."
"Spencer!"
"He asked."
"I'm not answering questions about my love life or my life in general. Moving on!"
"How hard do we punch them in the throat?!" A lady asked.
"As hard as you can. Don't put your thumb in your fist you might break it. But I will warn you, if you are hit hard enough in the throat you could probably stop them breathing, keep that in mind. Any more questions?!"
"I've got one!" Erin told making us all look to see her looking mad.
"Hey Aunty!"
"My office now Ashley." She told.
"Ok one moment please." I told before turning back to everyone. "Class dismissed for I'm in deep shit!"
I threw the controller back to her and gave Spencer a look to him to make sure he knew not to say anything. And I also saw David on a chair.
"Spencer you owe me 30!" I exclaimed making him look to see I was correct before I followed Erin out of the doors.

"What was that?" She asked as I sat across from her desk.
"Being helpful. I noticed she had her facts all wrong and decided as my civic duty, I must help her."
"You made a complete fool out of yourself."
"And? Look people can think I'm unhinged. I don't care what people think."
"Oh but your ok with people making complaints of inappropriate work behaviour?"
"Ok, the shit she had was mostly directed at Penelope, Morgan and also me. Which all of that shit was out of context. The chick had Baby face on there and it's a family nickname for Reid."
"He's Baby face?"
"I forgot you were the only one he didn't meet when we went to Uni together and also the Academy."
"Never mind that! You can not act like that."
"I was helping them understand what to do. Hers is basically saying not to have conversations with fucken anyone at work. I simply said mind your own fucken business and if you hear something criminal report it, you hear something about you ask them to stop and if they don't make a formal complaint. Also told the fuckers to keep it in their pants."
"You made a ruckus!"
"So sue me! You know I don't like shit like that. Besides the lady fucken pissed me off by calling me Harper."
"If you don't like the last name change it."
"I'm not changing my last name."
"It reminds you of your father. You are an adult you can change it."
"I know and I know. I don't because it's one of the only last things I share with my mother. It's why none of us have changed it."
"Would your mother even better proud of what you did?"
"I would hope so. Half of that shit was amusing."
"Why can't you just be more like other agents?"
"Because I'm not like other agents! That's why you wanted me to fucken work for this joint! Because I'm not like them in any way!"
"So you just don't behave?!"
"I behave! Just not when it fucken comes to people making assumptions. I'm head strong it's one of the things you like about me cause it reminds me of my mother."
"Ashley..."
"You don't need to say it. I can see it in your eyes whenever you see me. For a split second you see me as her and sometimes you make it last a bit longer cause you miss your best friend. I understand Aunty, but I'm not gonna change myself to entertain some dumbass lady who thinks she has all the facts."
"Just try and behave a little more."
"I'll try, but we both know it's not gonna last long."
"I figured as much." She told before rubbing her eyes a bit and gave me a smile. "So Agent John asked you out Huh?"
"Oh yeah. I declined, said I have a boyfriend. Now my team are interrogating Spencer for the details."
"Should propose stop that we don't need them knowing." She told making me rush up.
"Best not. Talk later Aunty!" I exclaimed as I waved her off.
"Stop calling me that at work!"
"We both know I won't!"
'Well this is interesting.'