Working With The Rockstar - JH

Chapter 100

(One week time skip - Liza's Funeral)

Jaden pov

"You ready man?" Landon asked as he pushed open the bathroom door.

I was stood in there, looking in the mirror. I was on edge. I knew that, as of right now, I'm holding it together, but as soon as we get to the venue, things are going to change. I was wearing some black dress pants and a white button up. I was supposed to have a tie and blazer as well, but I felt as if I couldn't breathe with just the top buttons.

"I can't do this." I shook my head as I let out a breath and looked down into the sink.

"It's just a couple of hours. I know it's gonna be hard, but you'll feel so much better once you say goodbye to her. I promise you that much is true." I offered him a weak smile in the mirror.

I know he's probably right, but I don't think this feeling is ever going to go away. I splashed some cold water on my face to try and stop the tears for now. I quickly followed Landon out of the bathroom and we started making our way downstairs, where the cars were already waiting.

******

"Oh, my fucking god." Who's bright idea was it to have an open fucking casket?

I nearly threw up when I saw the lid open. My brain was going to go into a meltdown knowing that I have to see her again. I know her body is all healed now and the workers at the morgue dressed her in make up to make her look like she was just sleeping, but I still have very vivid images of when she died.

"I tried to warn Colson it was going to be harder with the casket open but he didn't listen to me." Landon whispered as he saw the way my face dropped when I saw her.

"No, uh, I'll be fine." I cleared my throat and walked in ahead of him.

The service was beautiful. The vicar spoke about her life to all the guests that came to her funeral. I couldn't help but choke up as he mentioned all of the plans she had for the future because I knew deep down inside I was the one that took all of it away from her.

"...and now I'm going to hand you all over to Liza's other half, Jaden." Oh god.

I let out a shaky breath as I went to stand up. I got out of the seat and walked up to the front but kept my back to the audience as I looked down at her body.

It was difficult to see, but I noticed all of the subtle changes that had been done to her. Only from her belly button up were revealed, and despite her being laid in her favourite black dress, I could see how her ribs were more full and she was a little more chubbier than what she normally was.

I couldn't help but reach my hand out to press the back of my knuckles to her cheek. It's something I always did when she was sleeping before I had to wake her up. I knew she could feel it and it was just our way of letting each other know that we were going to be woken up.

I almost flinched my hand back when I felt how cold she was. It's weird to see her look so natural and full of colour, but to feel she has no warmth to her is something I hate feeling. She used to go cold when she was sick too. I can't remember the last time I felt her warm.

"S-sorry." I half apologised as I was suddenly brought back into the real world and saw how the entire hall was still waiting.

"Uh, hi. For those of you that might not know me I was- am Liza's boyfriend, Jaden. I don't really know where to begin. It's hard to think how all she is, is a memory.

Liza was such an amazing woman, and I was so lucky to have someone like her in my life. Now I know I didn't know her long, not even a year. But for the ten months that I did know her for, were the best ten months of my life.

She was one of the best people you could ever meet. Although she never showed it, she was always scared shitless to meet new people. I mean sometimes it even got so bad that she wouldn't even order food for herself." I let out a slight laugh as I thought to the countless of times I had to order food for her because I knew she wouldn't eat otherwise.

"Lizzie has so much talent, and it fucking sucks that she's been taken out of this world long before her time was supposed to come. She had the ability to change the world with her music and I hate fate for taking her away from me.

She had so many plans for the future and she deserved to live them out. She deserved to see how much more she was going to grow, and it kills me everyday knowing she never will. The world works in cruel ways, and it's such a heartbreaking thing to see someone as innocent as my gorgeous girlfriend become a victim of it all. I wished I could go back in time and stop it from happening, or switch positions with her, because with all the shit she has been through in her nineteen years of life, she deserved just one happy memory.

I just wish that she was here with me so I wouldn't have to be at this fucking place and-" I had to force myself to stop talking, otherwise I would just end up crying non stop.

"I'm sorry I can't do this." I needed to get out of there.

I quickly moved away from the stand and made my direct route to the main entrance. Being trapped in that room felt like I couldn't breathe. As soon as I got outside, the cool breeze started to help with my body overheating from the stress and panic of seeing her again.

How am I supposed to live without her?