jadam oneshots :')

quasi platonic relationship :)

what a quasi platonic relationship is described in the fic if youre unfamiliar with the term

Today's the day.

Today's the day I've been hyping myself up for every day for the past month. I'm finally gonna do it. I'm finally gonna ask him.

I've always felt differently about James. But I could never quite pinpoint what I was feeling. At first I thought it was a crush. But every time I thought about going on a date with him or kissing him it just felt wrong. It didn't seem right. And anything sexual was also not it. As handsome a fellow James is, anytime I imagine IT I feel like throwing up.

And our friendship was confusing as well. We'd been friends since 2017. And all these years have been incredible. But something always seemed like it was missing.

A few google searches later I started piecing together my answer. I was confused because I didn't even know the word for the attraction I was feeling.

Sensual.

That was it. All I want is to hold his hand and rest my head in his lap while he plays with my hair and tell him all about my new obsessions.

When I stumbled across the term 'quasi platonic relationship' it all sounded perfect.

I always felt like he was more than a friend and more than a best friend. But not at all a love interest. The idea of a committed relationship based on a purely platonic care for each other makes me grin from ear to ear.

Today I plan to talk to James about it. I don't know how it'll go. Maybe he'll feel the same. Maybe he won't know what it means. Maybe he doesn't feel the same. Maybe he'll hate me. Maybe I'll chicken out.

Maybe I should chicken out.

I take a deep breath and shake my head as I knock on his door.

"Adam!" James greets me with a wide and toothy grin when he opens the door.

He pulls me into a tight hug that I return in a heartbeat. I hold on tighter than usual, the fear that this could be the last time I hug him crossing my mind.

"Come in! I've already set up Mario Maker."

He closes the door and I follow him to the living room, desperately trying to remember how to breathe.

"Here you go," James hands me the red switch controller and taking the blue one for himself.

He starts a normal difficulty level and settles into the cushions on the couch. He attempts to power through the level as he usually does but I can't stop dying at the easy levels, holding him back.

"You just have to jump up on their heads to get to the other side," James instructs, watching me die again. "Here, let me show you."

He takes the controller from my shaking hands and jumps over each shell, getting my character to the next platform.

"There. Now you do the next one," he says and hands the controller back to me.

I try the jump again but just fail like I had been previously.

I notice James looking at me from the corner of my eye. Tears start to blur my vision as I sense a questioning coming.

"Are you alright? You're not usually this bad at Mario Maker," James says with a light chuckle.

I try to laugh too but all that I manage is a hiccup as a tear slides down my cheek. I clear my throat and wipe my face with my hoodie sleeve.

"Uhm, yeah. Yeah, I'm alright. I just," I take a quick breath. "I have something to talk to you about."

"Go ahead," James says.

I rest my arms on my legs and lean forward, hoping to avoid seeing James' expecting gaze.

"So, um... I think you're, um, awesome. And..." I trail off trying to remember how I rehearsed this in the mirror. "So... Have you heard of quasi platonic relationships before?"

James' nose wrinkles up, as it usually does when he's confused about something.

"A what what relationship?"

I take another breath.

"Well, it's basically, like... When you really like a person and you feel like you're more than friends or best friends... It's... Um..."

It's a difficult thing to explain and I'm clearly not doing a good job.

"Adam, I um... I have a girlfriend. You know that."

My face flushes as I turn to him, shaking my head frantically.

"No! No, no, no. That's not what it is! It's like... It's like super best friends. Like another tier of being best friends."

He still looks confused.

"Okay, so, there's romantic attraction. What you have with your girlfriend right? And- and that can include sexual attraction and sensual attraction, which is like, hand holding, cuddling, and stuff."

James nods slowly.

"When I- when I think about you and how I'm attacted to you it's- I'm attracted to you platonically but... but also sensually. Like- Uhm-" I sigh and realise this probably isn't going to end the way I want it to. "I dunno, it's dumb. I'll just go."

I stand up and grab my phone off his coffee table.

"Wait," James says.

I look back and see him staring into his lap.

"So... I- Just- Come back and keep explaining, please."

I feel my heart get caught in my throat.

"O-okay."

I walk back to the couch and sit down, fiddling with my phone case.

"So... it's not romantic? It's friends but... cuddling?" James asks.

I nod.

"But... isn't cuddling romantic?"

"Well, that's the thing is that, it's like, maybe it doesn't have to be. Maybe I can experience platonic and sensual attraction but not romantic attraction for someone."

"And that's how you feel about me?"

I gulp and nod.

"Okay... Okay I kinda get it..." James dwells on the information for a moment before having another thought. "But, what about the fact that I have a girlfriend? Is it cheating?"

"I mean, no. Cause it's platonic not romantic."

"Right okay."

He goes silent again, seemingly thinking over what I've told him.

"Wow," James says.

"Wow?" I repeat.

"Wow," James says, louder this time and laughing to himself. "I can't believe I was so stressed about this. I should've just googled it."

"Wh... what?"

"I, uh, feel the same," James smiles at me. "I just thought I was crazy. Cause like, I love my girlfriend and I love you! But it's like, different and I thought I was insane."

And that's it. I told him, he feels the same and I think this is the happiest I've ever been. I feel my smile growing as relief washes over me.

He doesn't hate me.

My favourite person doesn't hate me.

"Oh my god," I breathe out. "You have no clue how relieved I am to hear that."

"Same, dude. I was driving myself mad with all the confusion," James smiles and reaches his hand out to mine, hesitantly. "Can I?"

I nod and reach my hand out towards his. He grips my hand tightly and finally everything feels right.

"You're the best. I'm so glad we're friends," James shuffles closer to me and leans his head on my shoulder.

"Same, Jameson. Same." 

this is the dream guys. this sounds so nice :')