Wanelle

22. Vows ( rewritten)

Chris rose from his seat and stared down at the hustle and bustle of the city. At first he used to feel relieved once he stared at the scene but now it wasn't that way anymore. It rather felt suffocating. He had watched this view with her for so many days. Made love so the world could see but today, and God knew so many days to come, he was alone. Alone with his thoughts and everything.

He ran his eyes over the large space. The couch she spent countless of days napping on. She'd come over when  she was have the worst cramps. Bring him lunch sometimes. Her laughs hard began to torture his sleeps. He was going insane. He needed just a glance at her. Just one look.

He closed his eyes as tears threatened to fall. It became hard to even breathe each day knowing he'd never see her.

He grabbed his wallet and keys and exited the office. As he got outside, he almost collided with his secretary. Even he reminded him of her. She specifically told him to hire a man instead of a woman because she's a jealous brat. Her words. It made his heart ache.

He'd never cheat on her.

" Sir, you have a meeting in five I was just about to inform you, " the secretary said looking through a pile of documents in his hand.

" Cancel them, " Chris said calmly. He wanted to scream but not here. He wasn't to be blamed for his own mistakes.

"But Si--,"

" I said cancel them." he walked away from the secretary and got into the elevator. He needed something strong to relieve this pain. He smoked, drank but it wasn't enough to get him to be ok. He couldn't at all. He needed something strong.

As he drove down the streets, everything was just it. Among a thousand people living in the city, how was he going to find her.

He began to have a headache. His head was pounding so hard he needed water. He parked in front of a cafe and got down from his car. He wanted to get a bottle of water. As he stepped out and rested his body against the car, his headache only increased. He turned only to stop dead in his tracks. His headache a distant memory.

" Elle---," Chris whispered. She was dressed in a white flowery dress, her hair in a messy bun. She looked beautiful and her smile made tears pool in his eyes. She was here, it wasn't his imagination. She was right in the cafe. The sides of his lips turned and he moved. Two steps forward, and he suddenly took three back. Stopping himself. He was back to reality.

She didn't need him. The thought crashed his soul. Elle didn't need him,now. It was all over. He told her to leave. The thought made him get back inside his car.
Chris's hands trembled as he drove to the place he knew was going to ruin him. He needed to be ruined.

" I need something strong, " he sat on the stool.

" Chris what a pleasant surprise, " the tatted guy smirked. He knew Chris stopped coming ,so seeing him here was a surprise. A very big surprise.

" Just shut it, Lee. " he said groggily.

"Yes, sorry , I actually got something better, " he raised a zip lock bag. It had a syringe and a little bottle with a whitish fluid. 

"How fast is it?, " he pulled the bag open and filled the syringe, not caring about a thing. All he could see was her. He wanted to forget her. Not see her.

" It does the job, " just as when they were in college. It only meant it took seconds. The pain of the needle against his skin didn't hurt. He could only feel the euphoric rush through his body as the drug hit deep.

His gaze turned blurry and her face got blurred too. So he couldn't see her.

" Get me coke, lots of it. " Chris said dangerously low. His addiction got the best of him. He was back in that time in life where these were his only solution before he met Loretta.

He sniffed a line, tilted his head back so he could feel the rush, that jolt.
The minutes slowly turned to hours.
Hours of drugs. He was lost. He could barely walk. He had to crawl home in that state, literally.

"Man, you've had enough, " Lee , looked surprised. Chris had never had that much. He had a limit but now it looked like he didn't. He just went beyond every limit.

" Get the hell away from me!, " he screamed as he tossed shot after shot, injection after injection ,coke after coke, capsules after capsules everything, that his system began to break down. His surrounding spun all he could hear was the high pitch sound. He could see nothing,or hear anything.

He felt numb. As his body crashed to the polished wooden floors, he could only utter one word.

" Elle, "

Lee rushed to his side. Damn, he was going to die if he wasn't taken to the hospital and he couldn't take him. They'd arrest him. He took out his phone and went through the emergency contacts. There was only one number and that was it.

He called the number, got Chris outside and called an ambulance which took him to the hospital. He couldn't only hope that whoever that person was to him. She'd be there to be with him.

Chris saw her. She was smiling, giggling and making fun of him. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her body into his. She felt like home. The home he made himself believe he had when he didn't. She was his home but he never noticed.

Tears rolled down his face. He missed her. So much. Now than anything.

Yet, he wished she didn't come close to him. Because he always ended up doing the same thing over and over again. Hurting her.