The Arrangement

Confessions

Crystal

It's been three weeks since I've been back in the US. I've thought everything through and all that's happened. And I decided to move back to SA by the end of this week, which is tomorrow, better late than never, right?

I think it's high time Belle meets her paternal and maternal family and of her roots, i can't rob her of that. Even though I will miss being Miss Johnson it's time for baby Belle to connect with her roots.

The girls and I are going shopping and later tonight I'll book a flight for tomorrow or Monday late. I've already notified Belle's school and luckily it's Christmas in two weeks so I'll look for schools for The upcoming year.

I've also sent my CV to numerous hospitals, "Mommy come on, hurry up" my train of though is crashed when the Apple of my eye calls me

"Yes yes baby I'm coming." I quickly get out of my towel and get lotion on, I dress in my white sweats and match them with a white colorful emoji hoodie and my purple clear bag and wear my white sneakers. I head to the living room where Ava is wearing a grey skin tight jumpsuit and white takkies, she packs the outfit with a light blue jean jacket and a black handbag.

I see that she dressed Belle in a similar pair of sweats and hoodie but she wore sneakers identical to Ava's. She had her own bag to take with. I grab a granola bar, Apple, a orange juice box, crackers and sliced fruit for Belle and a banana and yogurt for Ava. We head out to the parking and Ava unlocks her car, we get in and drive off to the mall.

Four hours later we have bought food, clothes, makeup for Ava, accessories for my baby and I, a whole lot of heels for me and now we are headed to one of the food courts because the little miss cranky and hungry.

Just like her father.

We spend about an hour and half at the food court and leave to Victoria's secret. I grab a cute lacey number and a purple set. I leave because the looks we were getting for being in the particular shop with a child were just too much.

We wait for Ava while drinking slushies. "So baby listen" I say looking "Yes mommy"

"Well remember I had to leave?"

"Uh huh...your not going again right?" She looked panicked

"No my love, Uhm we are going back"

"We?" She tilts her head to the side and opens her eyes wider

"Yes love, we"

"Why?" Oh she is just the cutest

"Because baby cakes, I think it's time you meet the rest of your family and your father"

"My father? The one you always used to talk about?"

"Mm hmm"

"Why?" The questions!

"Because baby cakes, where mommy and your father come from, it's important to know your traditions and culture"

"Why?"

"Its important my love"

"Why?"

"Okay let's stop with the questions for now okay, oh look, Ava's coming our way" I say and stand up

"Aunty Ava"

"Yes baby cakes" Ava replies looking at her

"D'you know why tradition is imporant?"

"Important, and I think tradition is important because it helps you know your past and stay rooted"

"Oh" she kept quiet after that. We headed to a candy shop.

###############################
Siyabonga

4 hours later

A knock on the door wakes me up and only then do I realize that I fell asleep. The knock is persistent and annoying. I took 4 large steps and pulled the door open the door "What!" On the other side of the door was one of my female agents, Zethu I think is her name.

"Sir, Prince is here"

"Tell him I'll be there in 5"

"Yes sir"

She walks away. I close the door and head to rinse my mouth and wash the sleep off of my face. I grab my phone and head downstairs where I find Prince and Sabelo locking lips "Haai haai haai! Not in my house man"

They pull apart "uh boss/bhuti"

They say at the same time "Prince, update on my wife's whereabouts?"

"Oh Uhm yes, yes yes. So here uh they are, she's in Manhattan, in the US"

"Well then, guess its time for a lil trip."

"Ini! (What!)"

"Agents, pack what you will need, we are going to the USA."

A chorus of yes sir.

"Ima Siya let's just think about this. Ungathola ukuthi uzobya, khona into ayenzayo lapho (wait Siya...... You might find that there is something she's doing there)"

Sabelo says following me up the stairs.

"Into enjani yeh? Yona leyonto eyahlueka ukuma ngize ngibuye mina? Or...khona into oyaziyo Sabelo (What kind of thing hmm? That very same thing that couldn't wait for me to come back? Or...is there something that you know Sabelo?)" I turned quickly and pinned him against the wall. Holding him in a choke hold but I made sure it isn't tight.

"Chaa bhuti, ngisho kuphela. Angazi lutho (noo brother, im just saying. I don't know anything.)" His hands were up as a form of peace.

I let him go and continued to my room.

"Oh and Sabelo"

He turned to look at me

"I expect you to be ready by the time I leave this room" I enter my bedroom.

A sigh escapes my lips as I head to the bathroom.

Dead brown eyes stared back at me. I see that I look nothing like myself. My face is littered with little scars from past missions. Overall I look tired.

Deciding to find something to do before the demons come out, I took out my toothbrush but found no toothpaste. I bent down to look through the cabinet and I find Crystal's toiletry bag.

A rush of nostalgic feelings bursts through me and my eyesight got blurry. I sat down on the cold tiles and for the first time in eight years I cried.

I cried for everything I went through because of trying to find Crystal, I cried for all the pain and hurt I put her through, I cried for this situation we found ourselves in. As much as I wanted, and still want to marry her, I wanted to do it in my own way, find her and beg for her forgiveness and hope that maybe she gives me a chance to prove his sorry I am for the rest of my life.

But I doubt that that will happen, every time I came close to her, she'd flinch away unconsciously and move away from me. The fact that she's most comfortable around both my brothers than me hurts but I guess I do deserve this.

I don't know how long
I wept in the bathroom
But sometime at night
I went to bed with
Only one thought
In mind...
"I'll make it right,
Even if I die trying"