The Arrangement

Letting them go

Siyabonga

No words can explain how I'm feeling right now. I once felt like this and that was when Crystal left. I vowed to myself that I'd never let myself feel like this again, but here I am. The feeling of hopelessness, confusion and undescribable hurts is overwhelming.  I am tired, exhausted and drained. All in one body.

Its been about 45 minutes into the flight and I'm sitting besides the love of my life, I don't know what to say. She's been zoning out ever since what happened in the kitchen, she keeps mumbling incoherent words.

I've never felt so stuck in my life. Belle was in the makeshift bedroom in the back, sleeping. She barely stirred when I carried her into the plane. I closed my eyes and tried to relax into the white leather seat of one of the Xhakaza private jets. We'd arrive in Eastern Cape in about 5 to 6 hours. I felt myself slipping slowly into a dreamless sleep when the seat besides me moved roughly.

My tired eyes tore open and I saw Crystal rushing to the 'bedroom', "Babe? What's wrong" she ignored me and continued walking. She opened the door and there, on the bed, Belle was violently shaking. She quickly climbed onto the bed and pulled Belle onto her lap. "Come on baby, fight for me. Please, fight for yourself. Fight my baby. I need you to fight." She continued whispering into Belle's ear until she stopped shaking.

"What's going on" I found myself out of the loop and it left a butter taste in my mouth. "She's slipping" Crystal said in a horse voice. I have no idea how it got so bad. "Slipping how" I held her shoulders and brushed Belle's hair out of her face. "She's slowly leaving us. Zoe keeps trying to drag her into the world of those who have passed"

"She can't. That's her twin sister, why would she- why would she do that to h-her?" My chest just got constricted as thoughts rushed into my mind. "She says she doesn't want to play alone and she's cold"

"That's bull!" I snapped shaking the two. I sat on the bed and held my head with both hands. I felt like screaming out loud but my voice refused. "Hey, remember. All will be well" crystal had crawled behind me. She held me from behind and her scent and shockingly calming aura wrapped around me like an envelope. I felt like I could breath. "She'll be okay. We are going to fix everything." She whispered, massaging my head as my hands wrapped around her waist.

The silence was comforting and with her fingers massaging my head, she lulled me into a dreamless sleep. The loud knocking on the door woke me up. I unconsciously felt around the bed, my hand and my mind searching for the feminine body I had laid on. The knock on the door only increased. "Bhuti uyenzani? Balele (Brother what are you doing? They're asleep)" I heard through the door.

"He needs to wake up. Something urgent has come up."

I stood and stretched my sleeping muscles. I opened the door as Xola began knocking again. "What's so important that you had to wake me up?"

Xola pulled me back into the small bedroom by my arm. "Baba just said that we cannot enter with Mbali. Us being in Eastern Cape is already too dangerous." He explained.

"I thought the rivalry is over"

"They haven't forgiven us. And finding out that you are married to one of theirs made things worse."

"Shit!" I fell all the tension I left on the bed crawl back and sit heavily on my shoulders.

We left the bedroom and I went and sat besides Crystal who had a plate of pasta in front of her. She was absentmindedly playing with her food while tapping her foot nervously. I held her soft hand in my large, rough one. She faced me and her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears. I wiped off a fallen tear and she gave me a small smile. Throughout the whole flight, I had my hand in hers. Occasionally squeezing hers, in a way I was giving her my strength, promise and reassurance.

We landed safely and made our way out of the plane, just as we touched the ground, Crystal fell. Xola quickly caught her as I couldn't because I had Belle in my arms. Blinding lights shone on us, temporarily blinding us. It was a car. The car stopped in front of us and three more followed behind the first one. A ghirl stepped out. She had on a black jumpsuit, black leather jacket, black boots and black shades. The front passenger door opened and a buff man came out.

They walked towards us and stopped five feet away from us. "You are trespassing" she said. She analyzed us and stepped forward, my men quickly pulled out their guns. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." She said and took off her shades. "Millicent"

"Hello brother in law"

"Thank you for bringing my family home. Where they belong. I'll take it from here." She whistled and the doors of the two other cars opened and three men walked towards us. I stepped back. "Don't make this harder than it already is Butcher." One took Crystal from Xola and the other came and took Belle from me. "Don't worry, I'll tell her how you refused to give them up." She had a smirk on her face, my hands itched to punch something. "Bye sbali." She laughed and entered the car she came from. The three cars drove off.

Minutes afterwards my phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out, not bothering to check the caller, "Speak"

"If I were you, I'd rush home to my son. Before its too late" tuu tuu tuu tuu

My heart dropped down to my stomach. My feet moved before my mind, I found myself shouting at the pilot to fly us out of Eastern Cape.  Every moment spent on the ride made my heart clench in anxiety. We finally got to OR Tambo International airport. I found one of our OP cars waiting for me. We drove straight to HQ in Sandhurst.

I kept demanding answers as to why we weren't going to my house and the respond was, 'Vader said to go straight to HQ'. Vader being my father so I had to sit and wait because his phone kept going to voicemail. I immediately rushed to my office, I knew I'd find him in there seeing as how it was his old office when he was still in command. I opened the door, my knees weak and my heart beating anxiously against my ribcage.

"Baba"

"Ndodana." He was too calm

"I need-"

"Hlala phantsi."

"Baba-"

"Sit down Siyabonga" his voice was stern.

"Ba-"

"I SAID SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!" He roared

"Grandpa?" A small boyish voice captured my attention. I felt my heart stop beating and beat faster all at once. I rushed too the couch that he sat on and held his small body in my arms. I had my arms wrapped around him like vices. I kissed his baby face all over, mentally thanking god and our ancestors for protecting him.

I sat him on my lap and held him close, "Dad that tickles" he moved his head from under my chin. "Sorry boy" I kissed his small forehead. "Now Siyabonga." I focused solely on him, "Boy, go find Aunty Zah and ask her for some snacks."

"Okay grandpa" he hoped off of my lap and ran out; headed to Zandile. "Amanda left the country. She's MIA. During the attack on her house, she was seen escaping via underground tunnel."

"So she left my son to die in that house?" I felt hot. My hands itched to strangle someone. "Basically". I stood up and began pacing around; the office felt like a small enclosed space.

"She can forget about seeing him again. Nxa!" I punched the wall near the door. It didn't feel like i thought it would, the anger that clouded my mind was just too great. "Go up to the gym. I can't talk to you while you are like this." Baba sent me out. I didn't bother changing out of my clothes, I immediately went to the punching bag and released my anger.

I spent hours and hours on end in the gym.

When I find Amanda,
I'm going to show her
Who I truly am.
It seems she's forgotten
Why I am
The Butcher