Shawn Mendes Imagines

Insecurities

I stood in front of the mirror, pulling up my sweatshirt and tracing lines on my stomach with my finger.

I'd kill to look like those other girls.
Maybe loose 10 or more pounds.
I'm disgusting.

A tear slid down my cheek and landed on the floor as I stared at my reflection.

I hated the way I looked and would do anything to change myself.

Anything.

I slowly walked to the bathroom, grabbing my old blade.

I lifted up my sweatshirt again, tracing lines against my stomach and thighs, this time with the blade.

The familiar and satisfying feeling of the metal colliding with my skin.
I shut my eyes tight, feeling my warm blood trickle down my body.

I moved down to my thighs, cutting out what I'd love my body to look like.

"Baby? Where are you?" I heard Shawn's voice ring throughout the house.

I stayed silent and still, hoping he wouldn't look any further.

"Kitten?" He knocked on the bathroom door.

I ignored him again, staring at my reflection, more tears streaming down my face as I looked at what I had done to my body.

I regretted it. It wasn't worth it.

I sunk to the floor in tears as Shawn burst into the bathroom.

"Baby-" He stopped, immediately falling to the ground and cradling me in his arms.

"What did you do?" He whispered, looking worriedly at my cuts.

"I-I hate myself." I breathed out.

"No, no, baby please. Tell me, what happened?" He asked, tears brimming in his eyes.

"I just want to be pretty to you, Shawn." I replied, choking up on my words.

"Princess, you are pretty to me. More beautiful than you could ever imagine."
He whispered, a tear falling from his eye.

"Please don't cry." I whispered back to him, wiping his tears with my thumb.

"No, baby. You're so beautiful to me. Why would you do this to yourself?"

"I just wanted you to not be disgusted by me." I swallowed, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Oh my god." He whispered, "You're not disgusting at all baby. Trust me. You're perfect to me."

He pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around my waist and snuggling his face into my neck.

"Why can't you understand that I love you for you? If I didn't love you I wouldn't be here." He said quietly, letting out a shaky breath.

"I-I'm sorry, Shawn." I replied, my lip trembling.

"Don't be sorry, just promise you wont do this again? For me?"

I smiled and nodded my head as Shawn intertwined our hands, engulfing me in a tight hug.

"Let's get you cleaned up, princess."

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HI GUYS I JUST WANTED TO ADDRESS SOMETHING: I know a lot of people struggle with self harm. I just wanted to remind you guys that you are all beautiful, unique, and irreplaceable. Harming yourself will never be the answer. There are people that care about you out there, and if you think no one does, well just know that I do. If you ever need to talk about anything don't hesitate to inbox me. You are all my friends and you are all worth it. Stay strong💕

-Rebecca