Shawn Mendes Imagines

Changed

The dim light of the fireplace made it a bit hard to see where Shawn's eyes laid, his head facing the ground, hands resting on his thighs as the two of us sat in silence for a few moments.

The tension in the air was thick as I cleared my throat a bit before speaking up, hoping to sound confident and strong, although my heart was weak.

"Are you going to say something?" I mumbled, my eyes focused on the wall in front of me rather than his deadpan expression.

"What's there to say?" His eyes darted up towards mine, crossing his ankles as I drew my lips together.

"You could start off by telling the truth," I mumbled, crossing one arm over the other as he let out a deep breath.

"You already know, so what's the point?" Shawn shook his head as I bit down on my lip in anger.

I knew he'd been cheating on me. He never cared to make it less obvious. Late night phone calls and arrivals, the strong smell of perfume draped along his collar, even the way he looked at me was different. He rarely showed interest in me.

I wished so badly that I could go back and redo this relationship. My love for him would be stronger, making him want me and only me. There would be no one else coming between us.

But, there was nothing I could do now, nothing I could change. I had let him slip through my fingertips into the hands of another girl, probably someone more beautiful and pleasing to him. There was nothing I could say or do to make him fall in love with me again. He was gone, he had moved on.

"I want to hear it from you," I retorted as he looked at me with a blank expression.

"There's another girl," he replied nonchalantly, not feeling guilty for the pain he had made me endure.

"How long?" I muttered, never once looking him in the eye, knowing it'd hurt more to see his lack of remorse or sadness.

"Two weeks," he pursed his lips, running a hand through his hair, "I'm sorry."

"No you're not," I laughed angrily, "you're not sorry at all."

"My intention wasn't to anger you, or to upset you," he said softly, our voices remaining low.

I looked up at him for a split second, immediately wishing I hadn't. The reflection of the crackling fire before us played in his eyes as my stomach twisted and turned numerous times.

"Then why'd you do it?" I croaked, mentally cursing myself as a tear escaped my eye.

I shouldn't cry for him, he's nothing but a cheater, a liar. But, how I longed to go back to the days where he was madly in love with me. The days when I had him wrapped around my finger, when those caramel hued eyes would illuminate when he caught sight of me.

The times when his bright, pink lips would curve upwards when he perceived me, when his mind was focused on the words streaming from my mouth under the dim light of the dining room table after a long day of work. The days when his heart was fixated on me, and only me.

"People change, darling," Shawn cocked his head to the side, his eyebrows knitted together, "you know that."

"What are you saying?" I breathed as he let out a soft sigh, his eyes flickering up at mine.

"I'm saying, people change. Their interests change, their desires change. And that's what happened to me, I've changed, and maybe one day it'll happen to you."

"That's not how it works, Shawn," I shook my head, my focus shifting towards the hardwood floor, feeling tears burn my eyes, "I only want you, I've always wanted you."

He shook his head again, "I wanted you too, but, I think it's time we go our separate ways."

"I can't believe this," I muttered, leaning backwards, my body molded into the couch as Shawn sighed.

"Once again, hurting you was never my intention. You're a wonderful person, darling, and it's not your fault," he stood up, walking towards me as I nodded my head slowly.

"You're right," I mumbled, "just do what's best for you, Shawn, be happy with her. I just want you to be happy."

"That's all I want for you too," he whispered, caressing my cheek with his thumb, before he walked towards the door, "but I can assure you I won't be the cause of your happiness, if anything, I'd be the adverse."

I observed him as he slowly turned out of the doorway, a part of me still wishing that he'd turn around and tell me he was wrong. I wished that he'd tell me his feelings for me were still as strong as they were the moment we met, for him to tell me that he never fell out of love with me. I wanted him to grab me and hold me, and tell me that I was everything he wanted, everything he desired, and that would never change.

But he didn't. He walked out that door, leaving me with two simple words and a broken heart.

"Goodbye, darling."

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august 8, 2015 ; 3:31 pm
happy birthday to the love of my life, shawn mendes, the boy who makes me happier than anyone else possibly could. he's the reason i smile, and i love him so much, and i'm so proud of all he has accomplished this year. i can't wait until the day i meet him. my baby is growing up): seems like just yesterday he was turning 15...

-Rebecca