Shawn Mendes Imagines

Fear of Commitment

The room was dark as his body collided with mine against the dark navy blue color of the crumpled sheets. His heavy breathing was the only thing I could hear, and I watched as he pulled off his shirt. Through the darkness of the room I could still make out his prominent facial features and the strong contour of his chiseled abdomen leading to his hips, clad with black briefs, his hard erection straining against the thin material.

"Shawn," I sighed heavily as he continued to strip the both of us, his lips dripping with lust as they pressed against the side of my neck. His hands reached for mine, entwining our fingers and pinning my wrists against the bed, my hair a tangled mess on the sheets.

His head was pulled out from the crook of his neck as I hooked my fingertips around the band of his underwear, slipping it down his legs, a deep groan erupted from the back of his throat at the cold air against his hard-on. The feeling in the pit of my stomach grew with each kiss, each touch.

Shawn dipped down, pulling my panties off in one motion and tossing them aside, instinctively reaching for his pants resting on the hardwood floor, accompanied by the rest of our corrugated clothing. A small square shaped package was pulled out from his back pocket, and slipped onto his length before he looked back at me.

It was something more than the pure lust that clouded his hazel gaze just a few minutes ago. I knew the look - he was falling in love.

"(Y/n), I need to tell you something, it's been on my mind for weeks now," he whispered gently, his right hand held my left thigh with such care, fingertips grazing my skin.

"No," I stopped him. I didn't want those three words to leave his lips. Just yet, at least. For if they did, I'd be forced to come face to face with my perpetual and mutual feelings of love for him, and I refused to let our little rendezvous to turn into something more than just a quick hookup, "no talking."

His eyes grew heavy, before moving back down, his hips meeting mine with a gentle push and a throaty groan from him, and a shaky moan from me. His actions were much slower this time, almost as if his hips were saying the things I wouldn't let his sweet lips tell me a moment ago.

The feeling was utterly indescribable. Pleasure ran through every vein in my body, and although love was our pulse, I refused to let either of us admit it to the other. His hands were bound around my waist with a loving touch, his lips continuously meeting the sensitive skin of my neck and chest, fingers traveling carefully along every inch of my body, as if he's never experienced it before.

"Right there, fuck," I bit down on my lip as he moved quicker, obliging to my physical request, and continually rolling his hips into mine.

His eyebrows were drawn together, lips ajar as the sweetest sounds escaped them. My fingertips trailed down his biceps, squeezing them every so often when the pleasurable feeling was too much to bear.

The tight pressure between my thighs signaled that I was nearing my high, and Shawn's sounds grew louder, movements messier, as he was drawing near as well. My hands fell to his thick mop of brown hair, tugging on chunks of the soft locks as I came with an unintentionally high pitched moan. A few more thrusts and Shawn's body released as well, before pulling out and rolling beside me, catching his breath and tossing the condom into the trash bin.

"I love you," he whispered, "I love you so much."

It felt as though my heart had stopped, my head spinning with worry. As much as my mind wanted to scream out "I love you too," the only thing I could get out was the complete opposite.

"No you don't," I pleaded with him, "you can't."

"W-What? You don't love me?" He sat up, running a hand through his hair. His cheeks were a bright pink as he had worked hard tonight, yet his eyes were a soft shade of brown. Clearly my words had affected him.

My mind yearned to say that I did. That I wanted him to sleep beside me every night and take me on dates and have breakfast with me on Sunday mornings and enjoy late night conversations and long car rides and walks on the streets of the city. I wanted him to cuddle with me on Saturday evenings with a cheesy romance movie playing on the television, but we'd be too busy making out to even catch a glimpse of it. I wanted him to make love to me, rather than hooking up with me every other weekend. I wanted to tell him that I felt the same, but I just couldn't. I was afraid of commitment.

"I don't, Shawn, I'm sorry." I shook my head as he sat up fully now, staring at me with a worried expression painted across his face, "You have to go."

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sorry for not updating in forever ugksgnndjg fuckkkkk school sorry. hope u guys liked it though, please leave your thoughts in a comment!!

- rebecca (-: