Memories of the Wind

Gab's Letter

Gab's letter to Katarina when he heard that she passed the Architect Licensure Examination on the back of his planner when he was studying for his master's degree in the United States...

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Dear Katarina,

I don't know why I am writing this to you but I feel like I need to, you know. Haben texted me that you passed the boards. I texted him back that I don't care anymore. But minutes later, I found myself zoning out. So I took my pen and went to my desk to address to you.

God, this feels so weird.

Remember the first time I saw you? You are rude, Katarina. You threw away the sticky violet food on the ground. Do you know how many children are dying of hunger? And you always stare at me like a creep. It is very annoying. But now that I'm miles away from you and we haven't talked to each other for about two years, I figured that I want to be with you, Kat.

When you told me that you're tired, it hurts me a lot. It was fine for me to struggle. I was tired everyday. Not just by fetching you when I still need to go to the company. I am also tired of keeping up with the things you love to do.

I am willing to suffer but I guess I don't want you to suffer, too.

I agreed to call our relationship off because I don't want to hurt you. Even if I'll live the following months broken and alone.

You looked happy when I saw Haben's pictures of you. You never opened your Instagram account and post your artworks anymore. It seems like I couldn't get a touch of you, Kat.

It pains me to not be there because I want to be the first person you'll be calling the moment you pass the board exams. I badly want to hug you right now, baby. I miss you so much.

I went to a few dates, hoping I can get you out of my system. They were all not like you. But the more I talk to them, the more I get bored of everything. Then I would find myself thinking about you.

I was too young to know love, but I am not dumb enough to not recognize one.

I am in love you with you, Kat. Every minute of every day, I hope and wish that you still love me again. That you'll still wait for me again.

When I graduated, I searched for you but you didn't come. I was willing to throw everything out of the bucket just to be with you, Kat. But that's the point where I realized that we're over.

If this isn't love, I don't know what this is. America seems to be dull knowing that you're not here with me. Because you make me feel alive, Kat.

Whenever I close my eyes, I always feel like the wind is always telling me something. It seems like whispering to my ear that I should come home.

You are my home.

It's still useless to go the Philippines knowing I can't have you in my arms.

So I will just let the wind talk to me about my memories with you. But I don't want to get old remembering those moments, Kat. I don't want those to be memories of the wind.

I still love you. I hope I'll have another chance with you, Katarina. Once I get that chance, I will never let you go.

- Mark Gabriel Serese