You don't even want me

22.

[James]

I slowly opened my eyes, the slight pain of a little headache present in my forehead. I frowned and softly groaned, putting my hand on it, pushing my hair out of my face, then rubbing my eyes sleepily.

I stared at the ceiling of my room, enough light coming from behind the curtains in front of my window so that I could see everything clearly.

I sighed and sat up straight in my bed, looking around the room for a few seconds before getting out of it and opening the curtains completely, allowing the sunlight of a late afternoon to come into my room.

I stumbled over to my closed door, opening it slowly and then making my way to the bathroom to wash my face.

I didn't waste any time and just opened the tap, letting all the water run out of it at a high speed. I put my hands under it and made a bowl, then, when I'd collected a small puddle of water in them, brought them to my face and let the cold water discover every little piece of skin of my face.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my hands over my face gently, spreading the water a little more.

I simply stood there for a couple of seconds, bend over with my hands on my face and my eyes closed, all the memories of last night still fresh in my mind.

Even though I'd had more drinks than I was used to, I'd still been very aware of every move I'd made.

I sighed and let my hands slip from my face, putting them on the counter and letting the water drip from my chin into the sink. I stared at the white surface before looking up, straight into my own eyes in the mirror.

I didn't exactly look bad, but not good either. My hair was messy from sleeping and I still looked tired, but that was how I usually looked.

There was just this specific kind of look present in my eyes, a look full of confusion and hurt.

I faked a smile and stared at myself, the corners of my lips going up and you couldn't really tell it was fake, but I felt it.

I felt horrible.

Not just because I had a slight headache, but because Camille had rejected me. I couldn't believe it, and I definitely didn't understand why she did it.

I really thought she liked me, she'd been very clear, in my opinion. Always making eye contact with me, her body tensing up when I got a little close, and so on; I was really convinced she was attracted to me. Or maybe I hoped it too much, and that had made me believe things that weren't true.

She confused me. She'd allowed me to put my arm around her while talking to Noah at the party, if she wasn't interested, then why didn't she say anything about it?

If she didn't like me in that way, why had she agreed on coming to the party with me in the first place?

I was so sure and I really thought she would've let me kiss her. I really hoped so as I couldn't get my mind off her lately. She was always present in my mind, even at the most random moments.

She was just very calm and peaceful and that was new to me; usually, girls would try too hard to be friends with me and that made me want nothing more but friendship with them.

But she didn't even try to be my friend at all.

It was like she wanted to push me away at first, not wanting to have anything to do with me and my friends. But we somehow always ended up together, and that meant something, right?

She was finally starting to loosen up around me, to relax in my presence and now I'd ruined it.

I got too impatient and eager for the feeling of her lips on mine. I'd been waiting for so long for that, I'd had so many dreams with that happening and it would finally be there, until she turned her head away from me and I ended up kissing her cheek.