The Forgotten -Marvel 2-

Chapter 20

Sometimes, Lydia wished that things were different. She loved being with Happy, and she wouldn't change that, but she did envy people who got to live normal lives because that was something she could never have, normal.

Lydia never attended school. It was too dangerous. She never made friends her age. How could she? All she had were the Avengers. Earth's mightiest heroes. But just like everyone else, they left her behind.

Natasha would have never left her behind, not willingly. The choice she made to sacrifice herself for the soul stone was not done lightly. She chose to bring everyone back by giving her life. It was noble. It was brave. That's why Lydia continued to persevere against the odds. It wasn't easy, but Natasha didn't die for no reason. Lydia was determined to live a good life for her. A life that Natasha deserved.

Lydia had lost a lot, that much was true, but she was determined to gain more. After losing Wanda, a person she possibly loved, she felt hopeless. Lydia wanted to find her and fix their friendship. Leaving was not the right thing to do, but they still couldn't be together. Wanda was grieving Vision, and most likely still was. Lydia needed to move forward, not backward.

However, Lydia felt the need to apologize. The way she left was not okay. She left Wanda like Steve left her. That was not fair. What Steve did, although well deserved, was selfish. Peggy moved on. He should have as well. There was nothing Lydia could do about Steve's choice. She had to let it go. She had to move on.

That was easier said than done.

Lydia had a list for herself. After spending several months watching movies, she was determined to do normal teenage things as a nineteen-year-old former Hydra experiment.

First thing, make friends. Lydia wanted friends her age. She wanted that normal, silly friendship with people going through the same struggles. In all the movies she watched, the teenage protagonist relied on their friends. She never had that and desperately wanted it.

Second, she wanted to fall in love. Lydia thought she might have loved Wanda. Maybe she did. Maybe she didn't. Wanda was the only person Lydia had growing up relatively close to her age. Perhaps that's what bonded them. Or maybe Lydia was desperate to feel the emotion with someone. It seemed she would never know now, but she was determined to find that with someone.

Third, live freely and without fear. That would be the hardest to accomplish, but it was the one she wanted to experience the most.

A lot had gone wrong in Lydia's life, but recently it felt like things were getting better. After parting from Wanda in Westview, Lydia feared what would come next. She made peace with her old life and said her goodbyes to Natasha while apologizing to Clint. Being on her own sucked, but being found by Happy was her saving grace. She had no idea how much she missed being around others. Lydia hated being alone, and with Happy, she never felt alone.

Happy was her person now. He cared for her. He protected her. He made sure she was safe. Lydia knew that if Natasha and Tony could see her, they would be happy knowing Lydia ended up somewhere safe. Somewhere she felt safe. Happy felt more like family to her in their few short months than half the Avengers did after years together. It was funny how that worked.

Years of history with someone didn't mean anything. Lydia had come to that sad realization pretty quickly. She also realized that she didn't know the Avengers, not really. They weren't a family; they were coworkers at best. During her missing five years, most of them separated and rarely spared the other a phone call or check-in. It was sad.

Lydia wished she had been there, but things would have likely remained the same. There wasn't much she could have done. They were who they were, and at the end of the day, they cared about themselves. Steve put his needs above others. That was clear when he left her to go after a woman he kissed once.