2 WEEKS LATER...
✰HARRY STYLES✰
Today is Mother's Day.
I never really know how to act on Mother's Day. Wether I can act sad, happy, angry or if I can just feel all the emotions. I never really know what to do with myself on days like these, except spend time with the boys. I have to distract myself every single year and fight the urge of going into my room and crying alone with a picture of Chloe. I have to be strong for the boys even though every long second that goes by, I struggle.
The boys are 3 years old which means this is there third Mother's Day. Luckily Chloe was alive for one of them but seeing as there so young they struggle to remember.
So we made a routine.
We have a routine for every single Mother's Day. Every Mother's Day I take the boys to see there mothers grave. We clean it off, get new flowers, we speak to her, i cry with her and then we just go and get ice cream. We go home and cuddle on the sofa as we watch all of the old videos of Chloe and the boys on my phone. The day runs through all kinds of emotions but the boys seem to forget the sadness when we go to there mothers favourite place.
We go to the aquarium.
Chloe and I first met at the aquarium when we were teenagers. We were only 16 and were both on a school trip, we sneaked off with eachother on the trip and explored the aquarium by ourselves. By the time we had to go back to our groups, we exchanged numbers and we went back. I remember being so excited even though the teachers were shouting at me for leaving. They phoned my mum and she was mad too but it was an easy blow over really.
I don't regret anything I do that day for second.
We go to the aquarium for Mother's Day, Chloe's birthday and our anniversary of when we first met and every single time gets harder. We used to go as a family and Chloe would love showing the boys the fish. The boys would be so happy and I just remember everything being perfect.
Now it all seems like a flicker of memories. A distant past that is only getting further and further away and can never be brought back. It gets more painful as the years go on, but no matter how much you want the world to stop for a moment, it never does.
So right now we were on our way to the cemetery. The boys are singing there hearts out to minions as they clutch there slightly old teddies. I decided maybe to lighten up the mood by playing the minions soundtrack, it made them happy to hear it and I wasn't mentally prepared to see my children sad again.
When we had finally arrived I got the boys out of there seats and clutched the yellow daffodils in my hand. They were Chloe's favourite flower. I held hands with the boys but they already knew where we were walking to as they clutched there teddies.
The sun was shining today which set a better mood for all of us.
When we had arrived at the grave stone, I felt my heart drop at the sight like it does everytime. My throat swallowed a lump as my eyes already started to gloss over.
"Hi mummy!" Grey squealed with excitement as he tapped the top of the grave, like he was saying hello. Below Grey's hand was the inscriptions of Chloe's grave and it hurt my heart to read every single time.
Chloe Mariposa Styles
Beloved wife, mother and daughter
Born: July 9th 1998
Passed: July 10th 2020Underneath Chloe's grave was another set of quotes.
I know you sleep in heaven
And up there dream of me
Waiting there for those you love
Until together we will be
I know that your not lonely
In company of angels above
Watching over and protecting
Those left behind that you love
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