𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞{𝐇.𝐒}

TWENTY-SIX

OKAY ONE MORE I SWEAR!!
Also listen to the song for more effect ^^

✰HARRY STYLES✰

The cemetery.

It was a place i grew not to mind visiting.

I had been to cemetery's all my life, i had lost way too many people in my life to count. I still went to see them even if they didnt care about me when they were alive.

I always used to think they were scary as a child. All of the gravestones and the dead bodies buried in caskets under the ground.

But i learned to know that the cemetery can be a comforting place.

Its silent and it allows you to take a breath of life and slip away for a little while. I always escaped to cemetery's as a child, sitting next to my father for hours pretending to talk to him.

I loved my father more than anything in the world.

When i went to cemetery's, i felt loved. I felt comforted and like i wasnt alone.

However, when my family decided about two weeks after my father was buried that they wanted him cremated, that love was stipped away.

Cemetery's were seen as nothing but dark all over again and so i stopped going.

But then i lost Chloe and my world felt like it shattered.

It broke my heart when i watched her go, but i knew she was happier.

Then i fell back into my comfort of grave yards, i brought our sons with me even though they were so young to even understand.

I felt her comfort and her love, i fell into a routine off visiting her everynight. Talking to her and drowning all of my time into that field.

I lost myself the day i lost Chloe.

But then when i met Cora, it all changed.

As soon as i saw her in the dance studio, smiling at me, i knew it was game over. I felt butterflies when i first saw her and i was so scared of the feeling.

I started to slow down my visits, resuming my life and the majority of the time thinking about Cora.

I had grown better to quit my therapist. My therapist knew i had grown and said i was moving on with my life and that was normal.

Ive never felt so much guilt.

I felt like i was portraying Chloe and using her death as a gateway to date someone else. I felt like i was using her and i didnt like it.

She didnt deserve that.

She didnt deserve to die and then have me move on like it was nothing.

But i have grown these past few months since knowing Cora. My life has changed in so many ways. She encouraged me to my new career, to feel loved and take the twins to places.

She changed me for the better and i knew what that meant.

I was falling for her, so fucking hard.

And knowing that only made me think about the one thing i had to do.

I had to say goodbye to Chloe.

I would still visit of course, but i couldnt keep drowning myself in my own guilt and depression. Having thought about it for so long made me realise that its not what Chloe would have wanted for me.