𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞{𝐇.𝐒}

THIRTY-SEVEN

✰HARRY STYLES✰

✰3 DAYS TILL TRIAL✰

I always hated seeing people distraught and upset. I hated seeing people cry. I hated how people completley shut themselves off from others so they wouldnt talk to the person who will listen the most. I always hated seeing people being so different. I hated when they were not themselves, like another person had taken over there personality and there soul, controlling them to do shit they wouldnt do.

But most of all, i hated feeling like i couldnt do anything to help.

I can be there for people, give them chocolate and hugs. Be there for them when they cry, hold them tight to me and reasure them that everything was going to be okay. To calm there panic and put them at ease.

But thats not enough.

I cant physically make there pain go away, and that is what hurts me the most.

No matter how hard i try to help them, to hold them, to comfort them, to make them laugh, to make them smile, it was never enough.

When Chloe was in hospital, i wanted to stay by her side the entire time. I wanted to be selfish and cut everyone else out of my life just to focus on her. But Chloe reminded me that we had twin sons, we had family and we had friends. My family wasnt around but Chloe's was.

I always wanted to take Chloe's pain away, to stop her suffering so she could be happy like i wanted her to be.

I wanted her too be healthy and i wanted her to live.

I wanted her to be the perfect mother she always dreamed off, i wanted her to be around for much longer than what she was.

Saying goodbye to her was the worst thing i have ever had to do.

I remember holding her hand, kissing her head as she cried. She knew it was her time  but she never liked to tell me it, she never wanted to upset me.

I had the twins with me, there were holding there mothers fingers as she looked up at us, i could see her eyes flickering and i knew what was happening before it did.

The only thing i could do was sit there and comfort her.

I remember her kissing the boys, telling them how much she loves them and to never forget that. How they were going to flourish in this world and make her proud.

I remember her looking at me, with her perfect blue eyes, even when she was weak she was still beautiful.

She puckered her lips and i leaned in straight away, knowing it was the last time.

The kiss was filled with both of our tears and that was a taste of salt i could never forget.

She whispered in my ear and made me promise i would always protect them. She told me how i would make her proud and how she knew i could do this, her words only made me cry more in the moment and how i wish i could go back and hear them one more time.

She told me she loved me and she always would, she looked into my eyes for a moment longer allowing me to see her last glow of time, before she shut them.