Heartbreak (TodoDeku)

Chapter 16: Motherly Love

Winter has set in and I can feel the itch of the last of my winter coat coming in. My unruly hair has become thicker and more unmanageable with every day that has passed. My green waves clinging together and forming fairy locks since I haven't cut it since getting here.

The nights are growing colder and the days shorter. Frost has started to blanket everything in the morning, staying longer everyday as the breeze turns to ice against my skin.

It has been 4 months since Kacchan's death. Shin and Kami now have their own cabin to raise their pup in. It is a bit larger than the one we had shared together. I'm happy they can find some normalcy here, I just hope they don't become attached. They have made friends with many members of the Todoroki pack. Kiri has joined the fighters in guarding the village, while Kami has joined the other omegas as they raise and care for the pack pups.

I still reside in the cabin we used to share, though I don't usually go in there. I have never slept in a cabin alone before, and I don't really want to. The silence is too loud and the memories too strong for me to handle, so I sleep next to Kacchan.

Though time has moved, the pain is still the same. But the darkness isn't always there. I don't know if it's because I'm processing Kacchan's death or if I'm becoming good at distracting myself. Either way the days are becoming more manageable.

Shoto has started to sleep next to me more often now that winter is here. Something about not wanting me to get too cold.

He also guards me during my heats since I am not 'trusted' by my pack. He stays outside the cabin and only allows Kami to come care for me. I was wary at first, concerned that he would go feral smelling my heat. Or that I would willingly let him in since my omega is obsessed with him. Yet, to my fondness, he keeps his distance. Not leaving me unguarded, but not putting either of us in danger.

In many ways I am thankful for him. He has respected my need to mourn and has only allowed our friendship to exist, nothing more. If anything our relationship has grown into something I can't live without now.

I'm not sure how I will say goodbye when the time comes, but that day will be here quickly. Kami is already fully recovered from giving birth and Okami is growing quickly. My guess is three or four more months until she will be able to travel without any risk.

I don't know how to tell my pack that I am eager to go back to our village. Even though we wouldn't be able to really maintain it until our pack is bigger, I still want to go lay my pack members in a peaceful burial. They deserve that at the very least for the sacrifice they were forced to commit. I know it isn't very rational, but I feel I must return.

I am slowly walking through Todoroki's village. I have been slowly meeting the pack members here and becoming at least acquaintances with a few. The brunette omega, Ochaco, was the first member to break me out of my isolation. At first I was very reluctant, but after a few weeks of her talking to me everyday, I started to look forward to our conversations. She has a positive and bubbly personality that I am drawn to. I can't help but to let go of all the negative weight I mentally carry when she is around.

I am heading to her cabin now, hoping that I can talk to her about when Okami can travel safely. I don't want to bother Kami when I know he is already stressed. I am hoping that because Ochaco has been involved with the children of the Todoroki pack that she will have insight I do not have.

I am shook out of my thoughts when I hear a pup's scream in pain. I look up and see a gray-haired boy holding his knee and crying. A red-haired girl runs up to him and starts holding the small boy, cooing to him and running her fingers through his hair. I can't help a sad smile as I am reminded of Kacchan doing the same to me when we were children. He was always there when I was hurt, always holding me and soothing me... or calling me a cry baby.