Heartbreak (TodoDeku)

Chapter 18: Yearning for a Bond

I woke up slowly. Habitually reaching for my pack's links to only be met with that void. My body remembering the new development that had taken place the night before. I layed there as I stared at the wall of a room I didn't recognize, Shoto's scent strong around me. I laid there as my body refused to listen to me, my wolf hiding away from me as I tried to reach out to him.
I knew that I wouldn't be able to see Shinso and Kami, for the next week their new bond would need to be strengthened and I didn't want to cause anything that would prevent that. As much as I didn't want them to leave me, I knew that it was the best thing for them. They shouldn't have to worry about me and the pain I am going through. They had a new future that promised happiness, my presents would only make that difficult.
After a few minutes, my body finally listened as I sat up on the bed. I took at my surroundings as I willed my body to stand. I was alone in a bedroom, obviously Shoto's. I could barely feel my wolf as I walked away from the bed. We were both feeling the effects of the broken bonds, and I knew he was taking most of the pain for me.
I needed to leave, if I stay here the pain will only be worst. I needed to allow Kami and Shin to move on, and in order for me to give them that chance I couldn't be here.
I walked out the door, my body feeling weak, but I pushed forward. No one was around as I made my way out of the pack house, or as I walked through the forest towards the border. I slowly made my way through the trees until I smelt the familiar pheromone border.
I stood at the territory line, saying a final goodbye to my old pack and the possibility of having a home, having love. I was a rogue now without my pack, the bonds purposefully broken. I couldn't be anything more, so staying here would only put everyone in danger. It was only a matter of time that I would go feral, I can't let anyone that I love see that.
A tear slid down my cheek as I turned my back to the Todoroki village, taking a step over the border. My heart pounding as I realize exactly what is happening, all of it becoming real as my feet touch unclaimed grass.
"Izuku!"
I paused as I heard the voice that had brought me so much happiness the past few months, now it only brings unbearable pain. He was the one to take my pack away from me, he is the reason my pack left. I should have trusted Kacchan, he warned me this would happen. I fell into an alpha's trap... no, i walked freely into it.
I continue to walk, moving further away from the territory line and ignoring the calls that came behind me. It wasn't until I felt a hand pull my shoulder that I finally turned.
"Where are you going?" Shoto was out of breath as he stood beside me, his face full of confusion and concern.
I couldn't help the anger that slipped through. "I don't have a pack anymore. So why should I stay?" I growled at him, snapping my jaw as I tried to hold back my rage. The desire to kill him hear and now.
I pulled away as Shoto tried to hold me. "Because yo-"
"Because you want me to stay? You broke your promise Todoroki! You told me you wouldn't hurt me or my pack, but here you are causing the worst pain a Superior could go through. You took my pack and made me watch!" Tears flowed down my cheeks as I screamed at him. I could see his face fill with pain as he watched me.
I was releasing venomous pheromones, and I could tell it startled him. I was beyond angry, I wanted to cause him pain, as much pain that I could muster. The only thing holding me back was that Shin and Kami would have to watch them kill the rogue that I am for hurting their Superior. As much as I hate the man in front of me, I couldn't do that to them.
I quickly turned around and ran, using as much of my quirk that I could handle, and departed from the territory that I have lived for the past few months. I heard Shoto begging for me to come back, but I tune him out. I couldn't bear the pain that he brought me. I was going to return to the one place I knew I was welcome, even if no one would be there to greet me.

It took me a week to find my way back to my village. Winter had fully set in on the ridge I had to pass, making the climb over it difficult to cross. I knew I was heading in the correct direction by the landmarks I recognized from the departure all those months ago. Who knew that I would be returning alone, with no pack with me or to welcome me.
This seemed fitting though. My father deserted me when I was a child, my mother died at 15. The only father figure I had was murdered in front of me. Then my best friend met the same fate even as I tried my hardest to save him. How could I not predict that the last people I had would leave me too. Abandon me to a worst fate than death. This seemed to be the fate that I was destined to live from the beginning, alone with no one. How could I have expected anything more?
I slowly made my way into what used to be my pack's territory. The scent line long gone since no pack was here to maintain it. The snow was thick as I proceeded, the only evidence of life was from the forest creatures that inhabited these woods.
My heart clenched as I walked into my destroyed village. The burned remains of collapsed buildings are the only thing that showed that a village used to be here. I walk forward, my mind replaying memories of my pack.
I walked up to the only building that wasn't burned down. The building that I called home for the last few years of my pack's life. The pack house that Yagi moved me into when I obtained my role as the next Superior.
I made my way in, tears falling as I walked through the trashed rooms. It wasn't until I walked into my old room that I realized how much I hated my life.
I sat on my bed, and looked out my window. I would start the process of burying my pack tomorrow, right now I needed to rest. I could feel fatigue as I layed down, my body begging for rest. So I granted the only thing that I could do, sleep.