I made my way into the quiet place with a bouquet of flowers in my hands. There were only a few people around but it didn't both me, i made my way over to our spot and kneeled down, placing the flower on the mud and finally looked up.
ASHTRAY 2006-2022 gone but not forgotten
It still seemed unreal that he was gone. Even though it had been a few months from now. I'd still come and visit him everyday and tell him whats happened in life since he left it. "Hey Ash, i'm back again. Its officially been 7 months since you left us and...its stills sucks" I laughed lightly, i tried to keep it together.
"Fez is finally out of prison and Rue's addiction isn't really an addiction anymore. OH- Maddy and Cassie have the most insane arguments everyday..if you were here, i just know you'd laugh at it" I explained, staring at the cold stone in front of me. I frowned slightly and let out a shaky breath. "I know you're probably laughing at me because of this...talking to you even though you aren't here" i let out a small, broken chuckle, knowing Ash would definitely laugh.
I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out a small picture of Ash and i. It was one of our favourites. Ash was kissing my cheek while i was laughing. I smiled down at it, tears filled my eyes and my lip quivered. "I miss seeing your face, and i have to play a video of you every night so I don't forget your voice..." i started to cry, i hated it. "I really don't wanna let your voice leave my mind, Ash.." i whimpered, not bothering to wipe the tears away.
I sat there for a little, small cries leaving my mouth once in awhile. Soon i heard shuffling beside me, i turned to see Fez. He looked like he had been crying too, he smiled gently at me. "He's in a better place now" he spoke and i scoffed playfully. "If you count hell as a better place" i teased making him laugh. Ash and I always said we'd go to hell after we die as a joke, so did Fez.
"Hell's better than here" he said and i nodded, wiping my tears away. "Its so weird without him.." I whispered sadly, i felt Fez rub my back in comfort. "I know man, i know..." he mumbled, he sniffled a little. "We better go, Rue's meeting us at mine later" he said, getting up. I stared and the grave then looked back at Fez and nodded.
I leaned forward to give the grave a small kiss. A small smile. Then stood up to walk with Fez. As we walked in comfortable silence, i looked back at the grave and smiled once again. It felt like Ashtray was listening all along, it always felt like that.
"Wake up!" I heard someone yell and i shot up from the bed. I looked around...i was in Ash's room? I felt my face, it was wet and i finally looked up and saw Ash. The same beautiful brown eyes I remember and the adorable face tats. Was it just a dream?
"Ash.." I whispered and hugged him. I could tell he was insanely confused yet he hugged back anyway. "I'll never forget you" I mumbled, still thinking this was all a dream. I heard him chuckle a little. "What are you talking about, ma?" He asked. I pulled away, tears filling my eyes. "Nothing...i just...i love you" i said and he grinned at me. "I love you more, baby..did you have a nightmare?" He asked.
I sighed and nodded. "Yeah but it's okay..it wasn't real. You're still here." I said and hugged him once again. The poor boy was still confused but he didn't question any further and cuddled me. I was just thankful that it was all a dream and Ashtray wasn't leaving me anytime soon.
(Btw in this imagine, its AFTER the whole shoot out and Ashtray never died, Fez did go to jail but he got out a few months later🤪🤞🏼)
