One Heartless Woman

Epilogue 1

Epilogue 1

*Jan

Nararamdaman kong badtrip sa'kin ang boyfriend ni Lala na ex husband pa pala ng pinsan ni Moira na si Bianca. What a coincidence right, now I get it, what a small world. Gets ko naman na hindi niya ako gusto dahil bukod sa ex ako ni Lala, may anak pa kami, we had Zian, lucky of me ha. Maybe he was just threatened to that idea, I don't know. At the same time nakita ko ang galit at pagka-disgusto niya sa'kin ng gabing pinasyal ko si Zian at nagpasama ako kay Lala. Magpapasalamat ba ako na pakiramdam niyang pwedeng maging kami pa ni Lala after all? Maybe, if Lala still look at me the way she looked at my eyes way back before, but she's not. Malalaman mo naman sa tingin pa lang ng tao kung may feelings pa din siya sayo kahit konte. But in her eyes, nothings there just a casual looked.

Bumalik ako sa Pilipinas to fix things, ang totoo matagal na dapat akong nakabalik kung hindi lang may nangyari kay Moira. But then after those things happened at totally okay na si Moira, we settle everything between us. At nakipaghiwalay siya sa'kin, hindi ako makapaniwala na 'yon pala ang naisip niyang pag-aayos naming dalawa. Nung una iniisip ko pa na baka sinusubukan niya lang ako.  Ganoon kasi lagi ang ginagawa ni Moira, sobra ang naging break down niya at pagka-depressed. I'm guilty of that and concerned too, I was the one who caused all of those pain and heartaches to her. Kaya kahit nawawala na unti- unti ang feelings ko for her sa araw-araw na pag-aaway namin, dahil sa nangyari I stay on her side. I still owe her, to make her feel better and fix her physically and emotionally, maybe in time we both be okay. And that moment when she said her goodbye to me I see no pain anymore, just happiness in her eyes at hindi na siya umiiyak like she did before, I felt relieved, maybe there something happened to her sa huling pagwawala niya.

Sa buong flight ko pabalik wala akong inisip kundi makapagsimula ulit. To start for the better, kaya kay Lala agad ako nagpunta to see her and our son. Hindi naman ako totally nawalan ng communication sa kanya lalo na when it comes to Zian, specially on my son's birthday, Christmas, new year and other occasions. I want him to know na kahit malayo ako sa kanya ay mahal ko siya. Gusto kong makikilala pa din ako ng anak ko. And for Lala, I know I'm an asshole bukod kay Moira I know how much I hurt her at masyadong naging komplikado sa'min ang lahat ng nangyari noon but I guess it's not too late to make things up. But then again it was too late for me na pala, Lala's already engaged, I'm happy for her, really. But still, there's a part of me hoping, for what? For giving Zian a family. Aaminin ko nanghinayang din ako. What a life? Parang isang malaking joke lang. Is this what our destiny wants?

*

"Hello? May problema ba, is it about Moira?" Sagot kong nag-aalala sa unknown number na tumatawag sa'kin. Ilang miscalls na siya but I didn't answer back. Hindi talaga ako sumasagot pag hindi naka- registered yung number sa phone ko, kung hindi pa siya nag text.

Unknown number: It's me, Bianca. Can we talk?

Bakit naman ako kakausapin ng babaeng 'to. Is it because of Moira again? My mind thought. Actually hindi lang kasi sila cousin mag-bestfriend pa sila. Alam lahat ni Bianca ang nangyari noon kaya ang laki din ng naging galit niya sa'kin, maybe until now. Pagkatapos ng tawag niyang nakipagkita siya sa'kin in some place at doon kami nag-usap.

*

Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa utak ko? Bakit binigyan ko ng bulaklak si Lala. Inimbintahan ko pa siya sa resort namin, it was a planned actually. Masaya akong sumama siya for accompany me with Zian. But he wants Zac to come with us. By then I realize one thing again, she's in love and that's for sure. She don't want her boyfriend to feel bad about it kaya ganon ang suggestion niya. Gusto niyang maging masaya ang anak namin without compromising Zac feelings. Kaya agad kong tinawagan si Bianca to just leave Lala and Zac alone. Masaya na sila, dapat matanggap na namin 'yon. Dapat matanggap na niya.