•Night Angel•

CHAPTER XXXV - WE FOUND HIM

May 2008. 09:45. S.H.I.E.L.D HQ, New York City, NY.

Sophia's POV

I was in my office, going again through the files of Tony's case. It's been three months and we still have nothing. Rhodey says he has been searching again in the desert and in every possible area where the terrorist group might be, but nothing has come so far.

Michael and I had made an agreement that I wouldn't submerge and lose myself to this, but how can I not if my brother is missing? He is one of the most important people in my life and I won't lose him. I still have hope that he is out there. Something inside me tells me he is alive, I know. Even though we are not blood siblings, we are connected in some way, and I'm sure that if he was dead I would've felt it. Just like he felt I was alive when I went missing.

I had a few photographs and footage taken from the news of the "Ten Rings", I was analyzing them, their members, everything. I decided to pick up my phone and call Nick to see if he had something new for me.

The line connected almost instantly.

-Fury.- He answered in his usual serious tone.

-Hey, Nick. It's me.- I said with a small voice, not wanting to sound too eager.

-Hey, Sophie. What's up?.- He said now more relaxed, once he realised it was me through the phone.

-Nothing, it's just, I was wondering if you had anything so far?.- I asked as I lifted my hand to my mouth and started biting on my thumb.

I heard him let out a disappointed sigh.

-I'm sorry Sophie, but we're still looking. Nothing has come up yet. We are also monitoring the military to see if they have something, but so far they haven't.- He said to me. I closed my eyes and sighed.

-It's okay Nick. Thank you. I'm going to call Pierre and see if he's got something.- I said with a fake optimistic voice. Nick knew me perfectly to know that this optimism was fake. Damn him.

-We'll keep looking, Sophie. We'll find him. I promise.- He said to me in a reassuring voice. I smiled a little.

-Thanks uncle Nick. See ya.- And with that I hung up.

I sighed and rubbed my hands in my face. Frustration, exhaustion, sadness and desperation were starting to catch up on me again. I knew that if I let myself be consumed I would be the same I was a couple of weeks ago. No sleep, no rest, no eating. No nothing. At the moment, the idea didn't seem too bad, to be honest. It made things a little bit easier for me. Be consumed in something else.

It may sound cliché, but it's true. It was an escape. If I didn't sleep, I wouldn't dream of Tony, or wouldn't have nightmares to hunt me when I closed my eyes. I wouldn't see his face beaten up and his limb body on the floor. I wouldn't see or hear his screams asking to be freed. I also wouldn't dream of everything I had done. Because no matter if I did it for the good side, I still had nightmares of some missions. Missions that shook me and came back to me in horrible flashbacks.

If I didn't get rest, I wouldn't feel useless or like I was wasting valuable time in searching for my brother . Time I would use to make some progress.

And lastly, if I didn't eat, a part of me would make me think it's out of empathy for Tony. Not knowing if he's been fed, if he's healthy, so I would just not eat. Also seemed easier for me. Sometimes I was so caught up in doing and searching for clues and leads, that I would trick my brain into thinking it was not important to eat. That I had more important things to do. I would just drink some water and I really felt like passing out, I would just eat an apple or a piece of bread.