Always you...

25. Did you feel better?

"Here's some water", Xuan offered Zhan a bottle and Zhan gulped down the water feeling suddenly parched. "Are you okay?", Xuan asked him concerned and Zhan nodded his head. The sight of Yibo ripping Yifeng's spine out was flashing in Zhan's head again and again and he had to sit down. Talu sat across from him offered Zhan his sandwich. "After what I have just seen...I don't think I can eat anymore. You need this more than me anyway", said the Alpha and Zhan shook his head, bile rising in his throat at the mere mention of eating anything. The scent of blood was still fresh in his head and Zhan drank some more water to calm his nerves. "You don't have to worry about anyone trying to harm you again, Zhan. Yibo's message will be received loud and clear", commented HeDi and the others nodded their heads. "I still don't feel good leaving Yibo alone out there", Zhan worried and felt a pat on his back. "The Huangs were led out of the pack territory. Yibo just needs a while to get his head back to normal. He is too enraged right now. Give him some time", said Wang Rong and Zhan gave in. "I think this might be the right time to discuss some things. It will distract everyone, we need that", suggested Bai Li and Zhan's brows furrowed. "About what?",he asked and all the wolves sat down to hear Bai Li out. "Actually, me and Talu didn't come just to watch Yibo fight. We have found the boy from Han Yi's pack. He was held captive in Han Yi's territory."  "What about Han Yi?", questioned Wang Zi Teng and Talu shook his head. "He is still missing and I think he is with Han Shuo. The boy, Gao Fang recognised Han Shuo as well. Han Shuo is still alive. Yibo was right, Han Shuo and Han Yi orchestrated the entire thing. Han Shuo killed all the Omegas and Han Yi helped him hide."  "It's hard to believe there are snakes like him in our world. The bastard knew what his son was doing and was still helping him", said A-Qing and Yubin rubbed her back to calm her down.  "Familial bonds run deep, A-Qing. Han Yi might have thought that he could somehow help his son. Unfortunately, Han Shuo is too far gone", spoke Jian Min on a deep sigh and Zhan spoke next. "We need to increase security around Omegas. Put curfews and put all our people to work. The only way to bring Han Shuo out is to force him into a corner. If he gets no chance to attack, he will become desperate. We can then place a bait and catch him. I will ask for Yibo's input and let you guys know. Thank you for today."  The Alphas nodded their heads and were escorted out of the Lan territory by Rong. "I can't sit here anymore. It has been a while. I will go check on Yibo", Zhan announced and walked out of the packhouse.

Yibo wasn't very difficult to find. Zhan knew that Yibo's wolf liked to sit by the brook to calm himself. The day had been chaotic and Zhan had known he would find Yibo under the tree on the stone slab. He smiled seeing the black wolf resting there with its face resting on the forepaws. Leaves scrunched beneath his feet and the wolf's ears perked up. "Hey, big guy", Zhan greeted and the wolf gave him a glance before whining lowly. Zhan walked to the slab and sat down caressing the wolf's dark fur. "What's wrong?", Zhan asked scratching behind the wolf's ears and Yibo's wolf laid his head on Zhan's lap softly rubbing against Zhan's stomach, a whine leaving him again. "Both of us are fine", Zhan reassured and Yibo closed his eyes. Shifting Yibo's head to a more comfortable position, Zhan unmasked his scent and heard a pleasured growl leave Yibo. The wolf burrowed himself deeper into Zhan's lap and Zhan smiled, petting the big wolf. "Thank you for today", Zhan said gently and leaned against the tree bark, closing his eyes as well. He could hear the low rumbles erupting from Yibo's mouth, could hear the sound of water nearby and he let all those sounds lull him into a deep sleep. When Zhan's eyes opened again, it was already dark and he found that he was nestled against Yibo's chest while the Alpha sang. "I love waking up to you sing", Zhan murmured against Yibo, kissing the warm skin and felt his Alpha press a kiss to his head. "Are you okay?", Zhan asked, trying to sit up but Yibo's arms caged him tighter not letting him move. Silence surrounded them until Yibo spoke in a low tone. "During his last moments the only thought I had was that he was your true mate. Someone who was a part of you. The anger my wolf felt...the pain that thought brought him, it blinded me. I wondered if you would feel the mating pull seeing him in danger. At first I was dreading it, then I wanted you to feel it.  My wolf wanted to punish Yifeng for being your fated partner, wanted to punish you for it. He wanted you to see him kill the Alpha and I...I didn't stop him. I wanted that too."  The last words were confessed in a small voice and Zhan sensed shame in Yibo's tone.  "I wanted you to see what I would do to anyone who desired you, wanted you to be...scared of it. Sick, isn't it?"  Zhan moved again and this time arms fell off his sides and Yibo's head hung low in shame. After voicing his thoughts out loud, Yibo realised how twisted his head was to want to punish Zhan. As he had stared into Zhan's eyes at the clearing, he had wanted his firecracker to be afraid. Afraid to ever want another, afraid to even think of anyone else. The realisation had filled Yibo with so much shame, he couldn't meet his firecracker's eyes. Yibo had thought today he would finally find peace by eliminating the only threat to his mating but killing Yifeng hadn't calmed his anger, Yibo's anger had only spiked after killing the man. Only now his anger was directed at himself. 

"Did it make you feel any better?", came the words and Yibo looked up to Zhan finding a frown on his mate's face. "Answer me. Did it make you feel any better?"  Yibo's head shook in a 'no' and Zhan moved, sitting to straddle Yibo's lap. The Alpha's hands rounded Yibo's neck and Yibo's arms banded around Zhan's lower back, pulling his firecracker close to him. Zhan tucked Yibo's head in his neck and rubbed soothing circles over the Alpha's back hoping the gesture would ease Yibo. "Let's establish one thing straight, Wang Yibo. Hurting me will never make you feel better. You can lash out, curse at me, can try to even hit me but you will hurt yourself more than me."  "I don't want to. I am sorry. I just... I lost it."  Zhan thumbed a piece of hair away from Yibo's forehead smoothing his hand over Yibo's face. "You care for me, Yibo. Too much. You will hate seeing me in pain. Just like I do when I see you suffering. It hurts here." Zhan placed a hand over his heart and bent down to place a feather light kiss over Yibo's nose. Yibo closed his eyes at the sensation the sweet gesture brought him, basking in his firecracker's warmth. "What did you do to the body?", Zhan asked and Yibo gazed at his mate, trying to find any glimpse of pain in them. He found none. "He was the man who tried to violate me, Yibo. He hurt A-Yuan. How can you expect me to feel anything but loathing for that man? Are you mad?" Zhan flicked Yibo's head and he noticed the way Yibo's shoulders tensed at his words. "You don't understand."  The words were said so softly, Zhan was sure they weren't meant for his ears. Zhan thought of brushing the words away. But, something in him forced him to tell Yibo what he felt. Maybe because Yibo looked so lost, so vulnerable right now. Maybe because Zhan wanted Yibo to know that he had his own share of fears. Palming Yibo's cheeks Zhan gazed into those beautiful dark eyes, losing himself in them.

"I know what it feels like, Yibo. That bone chilling fear. I felt the same during the early stages of our mating. I knew you loved me but there was a part of me that worried that you would leave me one day. I feared that I wouldn't be right for you. I know for sure that Xinyue would have been nothing like me. She might have been gentle to your fierce, compliant to your dominance. I am nothing like that. I obsessed over these things and I thought you would give up on us one day."  "I can never be without you. I would never give up on us", Yibo cut him off fiercely and Zhan smiled nodding his head. "When I had doubts about us, I would look at your face and think that, 'I will always fight to keep this amazing man in my life. Love him with everything in me.'  Yibo...I need you to listen to me carefully. We will want everything from each other. Will want to own, to possess, to be in every thought the other has. I will always want you close to me and you will always be protective of me. The best part of this relationship is that we will never take each other for granted. I will love you every second of every day just like you will. So please stop being afraid, baby. You will never have to live without me. Your firecracker will always be by your side. Loving you, making you laugh and protecting you. Trust me when I say that I won't exist without you. There is only one person destined for me and that person will always be you. Always you, Wang Yibo. Don't pull yourself away from me because of your fears. If I have to keep you in my arms our entire lives, I will do it. I will do anything you ask of me. Trust my words, Yibo."  A tear rolled down Yibo's eye and Zhan wiped it away with his thumb pressing his lips to Yibo's forehead. "It is frightening.  But, I know no one will love me the way you do. You consume my every thought, baby. I crave you. I love you and I get scared too."  "So do you. You are everything to me, firecracker. You  can shatter my heart and soul with just a wave of your hand. Maybe this is why I am so terrified of you. You hold too much power over me", Yibo said softly and Zhan kissed Yibo gently. "It's only fair since you can ruin me completely. Let's move past this, Yibo. I am going to give you a beautiful daughter or maybe a handsome son and we will spend our days growing old together. You and me. Alright?"  Linking their foreheads together, Yibo nodded and pulled Zhan into a deep kiss. He angled his head to kiss Zhan deeper and he let all his inhibitions go. "You are mine, Xiao Zhan", he breathed over Zhan's lips and felt a smile curve his firecracker's mouth. "And you are mine, Wang Yibo."