Happiness [Book 2]

Chapter 25 - My Man

Oh, my man, I love him so, he'll never know

That's how I felt about Ryder. Every time I hear My Man, I tend to only think about him. For the past couple of nights I've managed to keep myself sane and tear free, but tonight, I was going to give it everything I had.

I had got myself into a black dress - it wasn't identical to one Fanny wore, but it was close and that was important. 

I was fixing up hair in front of the mirror as Jake came up behind me, smiling. "It's fine." He said, pulling my hands away from my hair. I nodded and turned around to face him. "Give it everything." He said, holding my arms.

"You read my mind." I smiled before trotting to the edge of the stage and walking from the wings to the centre, where the spotlight shone brightly on me. 

I could barely see the audience because it was so bright, but I disregarded it, staring at Mom, who help up my phone, taking a recording for me.

The first thought that came into my head was Ryder. He was everything to me. And before the song even started,  I could feel tears prickling behind my closed eyes. That was a good thing, I believed. 

Marley:
Oh, my man, I love him so, he'll never know
All my life is just despair, but I don't care
When he takes me in his arms
The world is bright, all right...

I knew there was no point trying to not to think of Ryder. He stuck in my head like glue, and I didn't need to hold back my tears.

What's the difference if I say I'll go away
When I know I'll come back on my knee someday
For whatever my man is, I am his forever more
It cost me a lot,
But there's one thing that I've got, it's my man
Cold and wet tired, you bet,
But all that I soon forget with my man
He's not much for looks
And no hero out of books is my man
Two or three girls has he
That he likes as well as me, but I love him...
Oh, my man, I love him so, he'll never know
All my life is just despair, but I don't care
When he takes me in his arms
The world is bright, all right...
What's the difference if I say I'll go away
When I know I'll come back on my knee someday
For whatever my man is, I am his forever more...

I tried my best to hold back the sobs that were in my throat while everyone cheered, but they were blocked out. 

I was too stuck in my own world to realise anything was happening; the claps, the people to the side of the stage calling at me, the spotlight going out. 

I stood in that spot for ages, keeping everything in. I couldn't change from this state of mind because I loved Ryder too much, and I missed him. 

When everyone cleared out and I was left alone on the stage, I felt a tap on the shoulder. I shook myself out of my trance and looked at the person, seeing Travis beside me. "Are you okay?" He asked, his brow in a state of concentration. "You've been standing here since My Man." 

"I-I'm fine, thanks." I smiled at him, expecting him to walk away, but he stayed in his spot. "I'm going t-to get changed." I stuttered, walking away from him and bumping into Jake. 

"God, boys," I laughed, wiping my eyes to forget the tears.

"We're annoying - do you think Angie thinks that I'm annoying?" Jake said, gripping onto the top of my arms.

"Um, no?" I said, but it came out like a question.

"Do you think she thinks I'm crazy or annoying?" 

"You're not annoying, so no." I said, confused out of my mind by Jake's worry.

"But does she think that?" Jake said, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Jake, not too sure what you're going on about." I whispered, trying to walk away and patting his shoulder as I did.

"Okay, I'm back to sane Jake," he said, following me as I went to find my clothes. "Are you okay?" 

"Thanks for finally noticing." I laughed, pulling out the clothes I wore on my way there. "And, yeah, I'm okay. Just memories and stuff." I walked away from him quickly, getting out of my dress with a small struggle. 

I pushed my way through the costume section and put my dress back. I walked outside to be greeted by Mom, who was watching my performance of My Man. "Emotional." She told me, staring at it. "You really connected to the song, more than you have the other nights." 

"It was on purpose, I guess." I sent her a small smile before we started walking down the empty corridor, our whispers filling the air. 

***

My man's name flashed on the screen; Ryder Lynn. 

He was online. I frantically clicked on his name and waited for his face to come up. It did, after a while, and I was so happy to finally have him online, and I didn't care if it was ten pm. 

"Hey, babe." Ryder smiled sleepily, but he was still dressed and sitting up.

"Hi," I grinned, bending my head down. "Tonight was our final performance."

"Oh, how'd it go?" Ryder asked, now all giddy.

"Really good. Mom filmed a bit of it, and my performance of My Man where I started crying." 

"Really, Marls?" Ryder chuckled a bit.

"Yeah, it's not my fault I love you so much and that song makes me think of you." I poked my tongue out playfully at him and he returned it, digging through his bag.

"I made you a congratulation thing." He grinned, holding up a piece of red paper that read:

Yay! 
I bet you were awesome and beautiful, you always are!

"Aw, thank you, Ryder." I smiled, blowing him a kiss.

"You're welcome." He put the paper down and looked back up at me. "I did that during maths... and my maths teacher didn't notice a thing." He applauded himself lightly and laughed. “You’re so beautiful, you know?” He blurted out, looking at me with truthful eyes. “It’s true.” He nodded.

“Well, my man is the most gorgeous and handsome thing this earth has ever seen,” I grinned at him and shook my head dramatically.

“Truth!” Ryder shouted, raising his hand.

“Ryder!” His Mom scolded, poking her head into his room.

“Keep it down.” She warned. “Sorry, Mom. I’ll stay quiet.” He smiled a really sweet smile at his Mom before turning into relaxed Ryder around me.

“You’ll keep quiet?” I said. “Is that even possible, Ryder?”

“No... I fail at being quiet and staying on task.” He said, looking down at his notebook and the pieces of paper sprawled infront of him. “During a test today, I nearly got detention because I was playing air guitar. It was boring.” Ryder said over my quiet laughs. “It’s crazy.” 

“Very crazy indeed.” I chuckled before Mom came into my room.

“Marls, you should get to bed.” I wanted to argue with her, but I was tired.

“Yeah, I should go to bed, too.” Ryder agreed with Mom and yawned. “I’ll talk to you later, Marls.” He flashed a grin at me.

“Bye, I love you.” I blew him a kiss, and he caught it, putting it on his lips.

“I love you too,” He said, before the Skype call ended.

Right there, was my man. My one and only.

----------------------------

Song: My Man  from Funny Girl