Luscious Man Series 2: Jian Cyrus Salazar

KABANATA 32

“Ang kapal ng mukha mong magpakita pa sa akin!” sigaw ko dahil sa galit. Nanlalaki ang mga matang nakatingin siya sa akin.

Gulat nagtataka ang mga mata niyang tumingin sa akin habang ako ay puro lamang galit ang ipinapakita sa kaniya.

“What? What’s our problem? Why are you so mad at me?” he asked confusedly. He even tried to hold my hand but I stepped backward making him him more shocked and pained.

It pained me more . . . because I trusted him. So damn much.

“At nagtatanong ka pa? Ikaw! Ikaw ang problema!” Dinuro-duro ko siya dahil sa galit habang masama ang tinging iginagawad sa kaniya. “I know I asked for this space! I know it’s my fault to be confused and to hope too fvcking much! But can’t you fvcking respect my feelings?! At talagang sa pinsan ko pa?! Ang gago mo, Cyrus!”

Lumapit siya dahilan ng pagkakaalarma ko. There’s no fvcking way I would let him touch me!

“H’wag kang lumapit sa akin! Nandidiri ako sa ‘yo!” sigaw ko dahilan ng paglunok niya nang marahas.

Halos manlumo ako habang tinatanaw ang nahihirapan ang expresyon. Halos hindi ako makagalaw muli dahil sa nakikita kong sakit sa mga mata niya. I’m hurt, too. I’m in pain, too. Can they spare me with these bullsh*ts? I’m tired. I . . . trusted him.

“Babe, what are you talking about? Can we talk without shouting? Please, calm down. I will explain. Let me explain.” his pained voice sent shiver down my spine.

Here is the man I admire the most. Here is the man I love the most. Here is the man I let invade my body willingly. Here is the man I gave into. And here is the man who rejected me, let me hope, and hurt me. He is Jian Cyrus Salazar.

“Explain what?” I asked in a tired low voice. I’m really exhausted with these all. “Explain how you were tempted by my cousin?” His expression did not changed. But it become more dark and serious, but there’s still pain and confusion. “Explain . . . how you romance her? Explain how long you’ve with her in that fvcking same bed? Explain where it happened? In some random hotel, motel, or in your . . . condo? Where? Tell me. Explain. My ears will bleed.”

A tear escaped from my eye that alarmed him. He tried to step forward, but then again, I stepped back. I couldn’t be that near to him when I’m hurt like this. I would definitely breakdown.

“That’s not true! Nothing happened between us! I know that!” His thunderous voice did not made me shiver this time. “I was drunk--”

“That’s why you had that night with her because you’re drunk!” putol ko sa sinasabi niya habang galit na nakatingin sa kaniya.

“I said nothing happened between us! She’s just plotting things like this to make us fall apart!” Ang galit niyang sigaw ay nahaluan ng sakit at pagsusumamo. His thunderous and angry voice is an opposite of his gentle eyes.

I was shock to still see gentleness in him.

“I did not fvcking cheat on you. I will never.”

I was taken aback by his chosen words. We don’t have any label yet but he consider it a cheating. And me? What am I even thinking about it? About what he did? I didn’t talk. I stayed silent and still processing everything.

“I was . . . waiting for you to talk to me. I was waiting for you to tell me you’re ready . . .” he said in a weak voice. Bahagya siyang yumuko at pinisil ang ilong dahil sa halo-halong emosyong nararamdaman.

“But what have you done? Pinsan ko ‘yon, Cyrus,” hinang-hina kong sambit. Hindi ko na alam kung saan pa ako kukuha ng lakas para sigawan siya.

“I didn’t do anything . . . I swear to God, I did nothing.”