Luscious Man Series 2: Jian Cyrus Salazar

KABANATA 39

"Just please, hear me out and we're done."

Kita ko ang gulat niya sa pinalidad ng sinabi ko. Napasinghap siya at hindi makapaniwalang nakatingin sa akin. Huminga ulit ako nang malalim at tiningnan ang mukha niya, kinakabisado 'yon. Gusto kong malaman niya na hindi ko nagugustuhan ang mga ginagawa niya.

"That video—"

"It's true, right?" I didn't respond immediately.

"The video is true, yes. Pero hindi gaya ng sinasabi ni Kendra na may nangyari sa amin ni Sherwin. Why would I give myself to him if you're the one I love?" Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong lumuha sa harap niya.

"I don't know . . ." he whispered but I still heard it right.

I scoffed, "so you do believe I can do that to you, to cheat behind your back because you're away. Tang *na, Cyrus!" Hindi ko na napigilan ang sumabog sa galit. "Ano'ng akala mo sa 'kin? Pariwara? Kaladkarin na kahit sino na lang ang bibigyan ko ng sarili ko? Alam mo sa sarili mo na ikaw lang! Ikaw lang ang lalaking pinagbigyan ko ng sarili ko, pero ano 'to? You're judging me too fast and too harshly. You don't know? You're not sure? Do you think my love for you is that shallow?" Natahimik siya at hindi na ngayon makatingin sa akin. "You're a fvcking jerk, Cyrus. You don't deserve me if you think the worst of me."

Pumatak ang luha ko pero agad ko 'yong pinalis at ipinakitang kahit nasasaktan ako ay kaya kong tumayo at magpakatatag sa harap niya.

"The thought of you cheating on me . . . Is too much to bear," napakurap-kurap ako sa sinabi niya.

"I did not cheat on you!" sigaw ko sa prustrasyong nararamdaman. "How can I cheat on you when I always think about you, huh?! Kendra is plotting thing again. Hindi ka na nadala. You were her first victim, right? Pero naniwala ako sa 'yo, dahil pinatunayan mo. Tang *na, kung may pera lang ako para may maipakita akong ebidensya sa 'yo na hindi ako nagloloko sa 'yo, ginawa ko na, Cyrus. But it's just me, this is just me, I'm not rich, I don't have any assets, I can't afford to pay an investigator to prove something to you because I don't have much penny. Ang gusto ko lang ay paniwalaan mo naman ako, makinig ka sa akin."

Mariin siyang lumunok at sinapo ang mukha gamit ang dalawang palad.

"I had you followed," ako naman ngayon ang hindi nakapagsalita. "The moment you told me you want space that night, I ordered my bodyguard to follow you anywhere you go. And guess what he has reported to me. You were seen with your fvcking ex, entering your apartment. What happened next is beyond me now. I don't know. Hinayaan ko 'yon. Kasi naniniwala ako sa 'yo. Because I love you, I believe you won't do such thing that will break my heart. My bodyguard sent me a video, the same with Kendra showed me, only that, she was outside the apartment and my bodyguard has his way to get inside and caught you before hand. And the other video happened the day I went out of the country, right? He fvcking kissed you. And . . . You . . . initiated the hug, you hugged him and that hurts me. A lot. That's why . . ." yumuko siya at parang nahihirapang magsalita. "It's hard to believe. For now." Bumuga siya nang marahas na hininga bago tumingin sa akin. "But please . . . don't leave me."

Parang may sumaksak sa puso ko dahil sa pagmamakaawa niya bigla. Parang dinurog na naman ang puso ko. Parang handa akong patawarin agad siya kahit pa sobrang sakit ang naramdaman ko nang hindi siya nakinig at naniwala sa akin.

"We don't know what will happen next after this . . ." I smiled sadly at him. "I just want to explain my side, whether you believe it or not, I don't care anymore. I just want to defend myself and explain. Even when you won't listen, I will still explain."

Kita ko ang pagsusumamo sa mga mata niya at ang kagustuhang pigilan ako sa pagsasaliya pero nagpatuloy ako. Sinabi ko ang lahat sa kaniya.

"Those videos are true, but nothing happened. 'Yong una, noong humingi ako ng space sa 'yo, 'di ba? Sherwin and I accidentally just saw each other that time, he helped me out to go home because I felt dizzy that time. He entered my apartment, yes, but he did nothing. We did nothing. He just helped me out that night, as a friend. Pagkatapos no'n ay umuwi na rin siya, hindi ba sinabi sa 'yo 'yon ng binayaran mong 'bodyguard'?" I said, emphasizing the last word. "At 'yong pangalawa, oo, nangyari ulit 'yon. Totoo 'yon. I won't deny because it was true. It's all true so why I should deny, anyway? He kissed me all of the sudden. I was shocked too with that kiss. But, in that video, hindi ipinakitang itinulak ko si Sherwin dahil biglang nag-glitch? Use your brain, Cyrus. I know you're smart enough to know what really that was. Bakit ko siya niyakap? Kasi tang *na, Cyrus, guilty'ng-guilty ako sa ginawa ko sa kaniya! He felt like I made him hust a rebound for me to cope up with your rejection towards me. Para makalimot ako sa 'yo, I entered a relationship with him. Pero kahit ano'ng gawin kong pilit sa sarili ko na gustuhin siya, ikaw. Ikaw pa rin 'yong tinitibok ng letse kong puso!"