Luscious Man Series 2: Jian Cyrus Salazar

KABANATA 54

Umuwi na rin kami pagkatapos ng mahabang usapan. After forgiving Kendra, my heart felt so light. It feels like a heavy bagage got lifted, kaya nakahinga na ako nang maluwang. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam magpatawad.

Kahit alam kong sobra ang naidulot niya sa akin - nila sa akin, kailangan ko pa rin magpatawad. I am no saint, yes, but forgiving someone who do you bad things is a kind of relief in your soul. It may last for a lifetime. Because you forgive, you'll have a better and peaceful life. Nang walang iniisip na hinanakit o kung ano pa.

"Maraming salamat, Mio, sa pagpapatawad. Sa lahat. Kahit ang dami kong kasalanan sa 'yo simula noon." sambit ni Kendra kanina nang bago kami umalis doon.

"Sinabi ko na sa 'yo, Kendra. I can forgive you easily, but I can not forget easily. We may see each other some other time with a smile in our face- in our eyes, but deep inside, I'm thinking about what has happened. The scars in my heart that was given by you will always remain there. Hindi mawawala, hindi naghihilom. Dahil isa na 'yong peklat sa puso at isipan ko." Yumuko siya at tumango kahit alam kong medyo nadismaya siya sa sinabi ko. "But I won't treat you bad as what you are thinking right now. Hindi ako gano'n."

Nang mag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin ay isang ngiti ang iginawad niya sa akin.

"Just be reminded that once is enough for me. Make another mistake and ploy some nasty things to me again, pasensyahan na lang tayo, Kendra, dahil kahit pinsan kita hindi kita sasantuhin."

Mabilis siyang tumango roon.

I understand her eagerness for being treated well by me. For her eagerness to be okay with me. Buong buhay naming dalawa, hindi kailanman ay naging maganda ang samahan namin. Well, it's her fault. Siya naman ang mahirap pakisamahan, at hindi ako. Siya ang mahirap kausapin nang matino riyan.

"Feeling better now?" Cyrus asked while he's hugging me from behind.

We're both looking at the city lights and skyscrapers that can be beautifully seen in the terrace of his condo tower. I've been always in awe every time I look at those lights, those highend buildings, those cranes and all, this is where I always find my home.

Mahirap iwanan gaya ng palaging sinasabi sa akin ni Papa. Na manirahan ako sa Iloilo para mas maging maganda ang katahimikan sa buhay ko, at maalagaan nila ako nang maayos. But I really can't. Ang hirap iwan ng Manila nang matagal kahit pa naroon sila at tama siyang magiging payapa ang buhay ko roon.

This is my home . . .

And Cyrus . . . I want to be with him all the possible time. Pero kung sasama siya sa akin sa probinsya, ayos na ako roon. Basta kasama ko siya. Mamumuhay kami nang payapa at maayos doon. But I know better. He won't agree with that. His businesses are all here in Manila. His parents are all here in Manila. His friends are also all here in Manila. Kaya paniguradong hindi siya papayag. And I'm also fine with that, though.

"Yeah," sagot ko sa kaniya habang hindi inaalis ang tingin sa city lights. "I feel so light now. Parang . . . nawala 'yong nakadagan sa dibdib ko. Kahit pa alam kong hindi na maibabalik ang anak natin, mas mabuti na rin na mamuhay tayo at magising kinabukasan nang walang anumang galit na nararamdaman."

I heard him sighed heavily before burying his face on the hallow of my neck. It feels so comfortable to be in this position with him. I craned my neck to give more access to it.

"After a storm, there's really a rainbow. A rainbow . . . that will guide us in our better future." I said with a smile in my lips.

"I'm so proud of you, babe." he whispered. "You're the strongest woman I ever know." Napapikit ako sa sinabi niya bago napangiti nang mas malapad ngayon.