I keep a demon

Chapter 38

Douma went silent, his next moves will determine her life either she still can be a beautiful-living doll, or perhaps, he'll toss her around like a rag doll. He doesn't want to hurt her, yet, he started picturing her in love with someone else and he's not fine with it. If he can't get back what belongs to him, then nobody can. He had no interest to share her with anyone.

"Am I that easy to forget?' His words are filled with disappointment and sorrow, the pain is real and she starts to feel bad about it.

"I'm sorry... But, the truth is... My condition is... I can't remember some part of my past." She's stuttered but sincerely apologizes. Her face changed instantly as if she was regretting that he was also a part of her forgotten memories. "You look pretty upset before. Did something happen between us?"

He shrugged his shoulder and fell silent again. She's not trying to ask him but it saddens her, she wishes to hear from him more.

Of all people she met so far, he's the only one who deliberately shows his mixed feeling and hates her circumstance.

The rain keeps falling to the ground, and the sound of it hitting the umbrella filled the silence between them. Some part of her damp hair sticks to her cheek and Douma absentmindedly runs his finger to fix her hair, lovingly tugging it behind her ear. He cupped her face as she unconsciously leaned on his hand, eyes lock.

"Do you know Lotus has many meanings?"

"Do tell," Y/n said, asking him to tell more. Her hand reaches to his kimono's sleeve. A habit she share with those who were very close to her, now become a sign that she began to feel comfortable with him.

A slight tug from his sleeve makes him smile lightly. "It means purity, a new beginning, revival, you name it - it somehow connected to spirituality. But there are two meanings that I love the most, one, is 'strong will to survive."

"I may be like that one." She smiled at him for the first time. "Frankly, I feel like you were talking about me earlier. I'm sorry, I think I get all weird."

"That's fine," He laughed. She tried to hold her smile now, but she failed. She cant do that, not if he looks so enchanting like that.

"To be honest, I was talking about you, Y/n, along with the lotus and note."

"You knew?"

"Yes."

"Go on..."

"I don't know what came into my mind to think that I let you live without me, even though what I really want is exactly the opposite." He observes her and notices how her face changed. He knows she is interested in it.

"I hate the note I wrote to you, it sounds like I was so pessimistic. You're pretty adamant to stave me off from going and I don't want you to depressed yourself if I didn't make it." He blatantly said, "the lotus, is it still alive?"

"Of course, it's still in my room. It keeps blooming and I honestly thought that it was probably an artificial one." She said.

"So, everything is clear between us, right?" He asked again but then she backed away.

The answer she sought so long is finally served before her eyes but she becomes uneasy. The fear and anxiety feeling start to lurk in and as much as she feels happy to welcome him, she can't take it if everything is all lies, the pain is inevitable.

"It is too fast," She claimed, "So sudden... You come out of the blue and I don't know what to do."

Douma walked to her, "Should I read the note out loud for you so you can believe in what I said? I still remember."