"'SHRIMP.'"
All Remi wanted was a nice place where the Royals could talk and chat, but of course, the UnO Cast are not exactly the easiest people in the world to deal with.
#1 in Pens
#1 in Arlaine
#1 in Asslo
Alternative title: druggies and smarty...
Sera: No, I said, "John, don't eat the key again," and you said, "Don't tell me what to do you're not my mom" and gulped it down
Calid: I would be very concerned if you were his mom
Elaine: John, you ate another key?
John: I'm sorry
Bloke:
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Bloke: what do you mean ANOTHER key
Elaine: John ate a key last year because Headmaster Vaughn told John to store it somewhere safe
Elaine: And apparently John thought inside his body was safe
Sharimp: John did it hurt coming out?
John: I blacked out from the pain so yeah duh
Sharimp: Why'd you eat another one then?
John:
John: GUYS I THINK IM IN TROUBLE
Sharimp: ISEN WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS IN MY DORM
Calid: WHY ARE YOU BLAMING ME
Sharimp: BECAUSE IT HAS A TAG ATTACHED TO ONE OF ITS LEGS WHICH SAYS ISEN IN CURSIVE GIRLY LETTERS
Calid: THAT'S MY PET CHICKEN REMI PLEASE DON'T HURT IT
Sharimp: YOU KNOW I HAVE ALEKTOROPHOBIA
Elaine: alektorophobia?
Calid: Remi is scared to death of chickens
Sharimp: WHEN I WAS FIVE A CHICKEN BIT MY NOSE OFF
Calid: IF A CHICKEN BIT YOUR NOSE OFF THEN HOW COME YOU STILL HAVE A NOSE
Sharimp: IT GREW BACK D U H
Sera:
Sera: I don't think that's how the human body works but okay pop off ig
Bloke: Remi I think that was a dream
Sharimp: NO IT WASN'T IT HURT SO BAD AND THE CHICKEN LAUGHED
Sharimp: AND THEN A MONTH AGO A CHICKEN BIT MY SHOULDER OFF AND CACKLED AS I WRITHED IN PAIN AND THEN IT SHAPESHIFTED INTO WILL SMITH AND SLAPPED THE SHIT OUT OF ME
Elaine: Remi are you on the druggies
Sharimp: NO I WAS MAKING BROWNIES AND OKAY THE WHITE POWDER DID NOT FEEL LIKE FLOUR BUT IT WASNT DRUGGIES PROBABLY JUST SKITTLES
Sera: u-uhm *scratches arms aggressively* c-can i have some of those brownies
Sera: i-i need them for stuff *picks at dying hair strands*
Sharimp: Sure! I love sharing stuff with my friends!
Sharimp: BUT LATER OKAY THE CHICKEN IS SCREAMING AT ME SOME WEIRD LANGUAGE I DON'T KNOW IT
Sharimp: THE CHICKEN IS IN AMERICA WHY TF ISN'T IT SPEAKING IN AMERICANISH
Bloke:
Calid:
Elaine:
Sera:
John:
Fork:
Bloke: Remi did you just call english americanish
Sharimp: ISEN GET YOUR FAT ASS OVER HERE
Calid: R-remi!
Calid: M-my ass isn't that fat, i-is it?
Sera: u-uh
Calid: I TOLD YOU I WAS FAT
Sera: Don't feel sad, Isen!
Sera: Chicks like thick dudes!
John: isen you need to get those big ass balloons out of your fat ass
Calid: THERE ARE NO BALLOONS IN MY ASS!!!!
John: Yesterday, I wanted to poke you with a pencil and sharpened it so it would hurt
John: I poked your ass with it and I heard a massive POP and boom buttcheek go bye bye
Calid: AKSLAKJFAKSNDLASKJ J O H N ! !
John: aKsLaKjFaKsNdLaSkJ j O h N ! !
Sharimp: ISEN I SWEAR IF YOU DONT GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW I WILL TURN YOUR SOFT FLUFFY CHICKEN INTO A CRISPY CHICKEN NUGGIE WORTHY OF CHICKFILA
Calid: NO PLEASE
John: And they call me the monster
John: Remi you'll make the chicken sad
Sharimp: ILL MAKE THE CHICKEN WAY MORE THAN SAD IF YOU DONT GET YOUR BALLOON ASS OVER HERE YESTERDAY
Sharimp: IT HAS BEEN 0.3 SECONDS AND NOBODY IS HERE I DONT FUCKING CARE IM GOING TO FRY THIS BASTARD
Sera: how the hell did you even get your hands on a chicken isen??
Calid: UH-
Calid: I-I bought it from Crystal
Sera: Oh I get my smarties from her!
Sera: Btw it's spelled kriistyall
John: kRiIsTyAlL
John: what kind of backwards-ass ding dong flimflam thingamabobber name is that
Sera: It's a whore's name, John.
John: ohhh i see
John: also btw remi i once got chased by a chicken when i was 8
Calid: REMI PLS DON'T HURT MISS LIQUOR GUMMY
Sharimp: THEY CHASE YOU????
Sharimp: That's it, I'm flushing her down the toilet.
Calid: REMI IM HERE
Sharimp: Yeah uh there's a little problem
Sharimp: When I grabbed Miss Liquor she flew out the window and into somebody else's dorm room
Sharimp: I hear screaming and mayhem
Calid: AKSJNLKSJLKD
Sharimp: Oh they performed defenestration on the chicken nice
Sharimp: Anyway the chicken is now in the school
Sharimp: Peace out yall mama needs her beauty sleep
Calid: I NEED TO FIND MISS LIQUOR AND I NEED TO FIND MY LIQUOR
Sharimp: CAN I HAVE SOME???
Calid: No.
Calid: No druggies and alkeyhool.
I have literally 2 lines in the whole play and I'm a little sad, like I knew I wasn't the best actress but damn-
Sorry for a late(r?) update, I forgot to write, jkaNSLjksdjSD-
Nah but seriously I'm just glad it's summer break, I woke up at 11 today and had a nice time 💅😊
Coming up next:
Elaine: HOW THE HELL DO YOU HAVE MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE
Fork: I definitely didn't help someone steal your identity, definitely
