"Please, JJ."
"Talk to me, love."
"I'm sorry, Joy."
"Baby, please."
These phrases have been on rotation for the past four minutes while Harry and I have sat here in Trish's car. It's embarrassing that she had to lend it to us so we could work our shit out whilst she's waiting inside the clinic. I have half a mind to just fake our making up so we can get on with the day and then to fake not feeling well so she'll have to take us home. Then I'd lock him out of our bedroom for good.
"JJ, I'm deeply sorry that I hurt your feelings," Harry says in a quiet, meek voice. His pathetic lie doesn't impress me, so I purposely don't look at him. "Baby, I don't know what I was thinking. I'm-"
"Oh stop it," I glare at him, noticing he's taken off his sunnies at some point, which I'm sure is only for sympathy because he knows that gets to me. "Enough with the poor excuses. You're not sorry. Just admit you don't trust me at all. And that you don't love me for that matter."
"What? JJ, that's preposterous. I love you with every fiber of my being. In fact, I love you more than I love myself or anyone. A person can love another person and still hold them accountable for certain things. You just, you just don't understand."
"What don't I understand?" I ask and he exhales a heavy breath, throwing his hands up in the air in a helpless manner.
"I can't see a damn thing, so I've been relying on you to tell me the truth about eating right and doing your exercises. We're talking about our sons' health here. Not to bring up the past, but you've already broken that trust once."
My jaw drops, "You said you forgave me of that. We've moved on. We agreed you wouldn't bring that up anymore. Who's the liar now?"
"Alright, alright," Harry says, rubbing his forehead, "Hypothetically, if one of us were to cheat on the other, and the other person found out about it, wouldn't you have lasting residual doubt that that person would stay faithful to you? I-, I guess I'm saying I'm not sorry for having those doubts, because I'm only human, but I am sorry I hurt your feelings. That was never my intention. But the truth hurts sometimes."
The only sound in the car now is the Air Con blowing on high through the vents and the pulsating sound of my heart that I can feel and hear in my ears because I'm so angry.
"You wanna know my truth?" I ask, challenging him and he turns to face me.
"Sure," he says as if he's challenging my own challenge.
His wandering eyes look pathetic, essentially tugging at my heart and I decide not to crush him, "Never mind."
"No. Tell me. C'mon. Speak your peace, JJ. You'll feel much better."
His words take me by surprise and I watch him while he waits for my response. In my utterly selfish nature, I could hit him where it hurts, go below the belt so to speak, but I love him too much to do that.
"That's not true, Harry. Once something is said, it can't be unheard. Trust me."
"Alright. Fine. But are you sure you're not going to resent me later on for not saying it?"
I take a second to think, "Maybe, but your feelings are more important than my peace. That's how marriage and relationships work, Harry. Sometimes being kind is more important than speaking one's truth. I wouldn't intentionally hurt you."
"I didn't int- . . . okay. For the sake of today, I'll let it go and I'll accept any form of future punishment for this. So, does that mean you forgive me now?"
YOU ARE READING
Blind Love
Fanfiction[Sequel to Blind Date] JJ and Harry have started their new life together as a married couple. Exciting things are in store for them, with a couple challenges to test the strength of their love, of course. Join JJ and Harry as they embark on this new...
