Blind Love

Chapter 95 • What A Life

A/N: y'all gon hate me . . . but I think you'll love me in the end 😉 😘

🚨 Trigger Warning 🚨
There's descriptive writing of NICU preemies and the emotions that come with it and it could be triggering to those who have experienced it first hand. Please know I respectfully wrote it ❤️

I can barley contain my excitement right now. Even though I'm being pushed in a dreaded wheelchair that I very much dislike, I'm about to see my boys for the very first time. The nurse has already explained the critical condition that the babies are in and all the machines that will surround them, so we're mentally prepared.

While Harry and I waited for the visiting hours to start, we had a talk and he made it very clear that he doesn't want me to hold back my emotions or words when I first see them. It's as if he read my mind that I was thinking he'd somehow feel left out and I wouldn't be true to my first reaction and go on and on about what they look like. In a perfect world, my husband would be able to see me and our babies. But I have to face reality.

"Here is our state of the art Neonatal Intensive Care Unit," the nurse says, slowly bringing me to a stop at two big closed double doors. "You'll have to stop here every time and sign in next to your baby's name and put on the protective garb before you enter the unit. You must wear the gown, gloves, head and shoe coverings. They must be worn at all times while you're inside the unit."

"Yes, of course," I readily agree and she hands me a pile of the items she listed.

"Here you go, sir. Oh, uhm, sometimes the ties are tricky in the back. Would you like me to help?"

Harry exhales a breath, "Sure. Thanks."

"My pleasure."

While she helps Harry, I put on the hair covering and I don't mind it because of how dirty and oily my hair has been since staying in the hospital. I then unfold the gown and put my arms through the sleeves and finish the most horrid ensemble with the latex gloves. But if this is what I have to do in order to see my sons, I'll wear it proudly as if I'm modeling it on the runway.

"Are we all set?" the nurse asks.

"Yes, I'm ready," I reply.

"Great. Now all cell phones must be turned off. We don't want the frequencies to interfere with the machines."

"Oh, no, that wouldn't be good. I don't have my cell with me. Babe, do you have yours?"

"Uhm, yeah, I can turn it off," he says, reaching into his jeans' pocket and he turns it off.

"Splendid," the nurse says, pressing the button on the wall and the doors open. She starts pushing me with Harry walking beside me and his hand taps my arm.

I look up at him, "Yes, love?"

"Hold my hand?"

"Of course," I grin, fitting my hand in his and the nurse continues to walk us through the room.

As we pass the rows of incubators on either side of the room, there are a bunch of nurses in their scrubs and the parents who are visiting their premature babies. Some are standing looking down into the incubator at their baby and some lucky mums are rocking their baby in a wooden rocking chair with their baby still hooked up to all the tubes and wires. It dawns on me that I'm now the mother of two premature babies and this obstacle will forever be part of my life.

"Here we go," the nurse says in a quiet soothing voice, bringing me to a stop in front of two incubators side by side. "Baby A Styles and Baby B Styles, meet your mummy and daddy."