part five

1K 25 0
                                    


we talk for a little bit, just about today and what everyone's doing. he gets quiet. "are you alright?" i stare in his eyes. "it just- i dunno. i saw you push your food away and then you shouted at those girls, and last night. i just wanted to see what's going on." i know he's trying to be nice and helpful but talking about my feelings right now sounds terrible.

i hate those girls, i hate this bus, i hate talking, i hate everything. i don't want to move ever again. "no, yeah, im fine." i smile as if there's not a world war going on inside my head. i wish i could sew my mouth shut. my ears too. "do you want to talk about it? we don't have to. i was just wondering and i was concerned." he puts his hand on my leg. not in a gross pervy way. in a sweet 'i care about you' way. i don't want to scare him with all the details. it'd go down horribly. i can tell him over a period of time. "yeah, i just really don't like the bus." i lie. well it's only a partial lie. not a complete, utter, heartshattering lie. he knows i'm lying too. he does the side smirk he usually does and nods.

"thank you." i say. he's showing me his dog. we arrive at the first museum place.

he and his friends scatter off. the girls whisper and gossip about me. "what a freak." alexis laughs. i sigh. i walk  with my head low. they show us art from random artist while i hear chatting behind me. i don't want to look. of course i look. somehow alexis and harry's group managed to merge together. jesus.

"what are you doing over there?!" alexis shouts at me. i turn around. "what are you looking at?!" harry says, behind alexis. i'm seriously not in the mood to deal with them. nick, who's also in that group, looks at me. i am look down. looking at him would make me embarrassed. i shouldn't have yelled at her.

i count my steps as we walk to our next place. i whisper quietly so i can't hear whatever they're saying about me.

"one, two, three. one, two, three. one, two, three. one, two, three." my head is so far down, it should've broken my neck. i get a text.

nick: can you meet me around the corner?
nick: you can go through the bathroom x
millie: okay :)

why does he want to meet with me? he turns the corner quickly. no one notices his disappearance. i walk a little bit longer and then i turn to the girls bathroom. nick is awaiting me there. he's biting his bottom lip and looking down. "hey?" i say. he looks up and has a slight smile. i walk closer to him, when he pulls me in for a hug. i rest my head on his chest. his arms are over my shoulders and he has one hand on the back of my head. i basically melt into his arms. his breathing is sharp.

"i'm sorry." he whispers. there's nothing that has happened within the last 24 hours that has been his fault. nothing.

i shake my head. "no im sorry. i don't want to put you in any place for you to have to take care of me. seriously. everything that has happened is my fault. i should be apologizing."

he squeezes me tighter. he's the best person i've ever met. he releases the hug. he sits down on a bench near by and i sit next to him. i put my hand on top of his. his hands are warm. he's warm.

we leave because any longer and we'll be stuck 7 hours away in glasgow. i dont want to be here any longer. i want to be in my bed. asleep. we reach all the destinations we're supposed to reach. i buy a stuffed bear that say glasgow on its shirt. im naming him bacon. the bus is not going to be fun.

nicks already on the bus. i sit next to him. "hi." he says. "hi." i reply. i've never noticed how ugly american accents are. they're hideous. i hate my voice.

we talk for a bit. then we don't. we're sharing a blanket that might as well have been paper. i finish my book. "done!" i exclaim. i love finishing books, almost as much as much as i like starting them. he smiles and cheers. "woo!!!" he's laughing. i hand it to him. "there!" i say. "you'll love it. i hope he'll love it. i hope he at least likes it. he opens it immediately and starts reading. i find that extremely funny. i lie down. i fall asleep next to him. my head resting on his arm, my hand on his chest.

"this is re-" he realizes i'm asleep. a smile appears on his face and he continues reading.

i wish someone would snap a picture so that it could be permanently shut in my head. runnning on repeat. this is my favorite moment. right now on this obnoxiously loud bus, driving 7hrs back home. this is my moment.

lover boy Where stories live. Discover now