lover boy

part twenty three

NICKS POV

"you know i love you, right?"

my heart stops. what did she say? "huh?"

"i love you." she pauses, "like i love you more than i've ever loved anything ever."

she loves me? i want to say that she's my entire world and that i don't know what id do without her but i don't. she's emotional over everything that just happened and i don't want to mix up her feelings. "c'mere." i pull her into me. my arms are around her. i hope she knows that me doing this is trying to tell her that i love her too.

we both fall asleep, her in my arms. it's thursday and it's also seven in the morning. i walk downstairs to find something to eat. absolutely nothing. it's completely empty in every pantry, the fridge and freezer are empty too. i like to thing that that's why she doesn't eat but deep down i know it's not. i find her favorite tea and put it on the stove. she walks down stairs, her hairs in messy pigtail braids. same as it was on monday. "good morning." she yawns while saying it. it makes me smile and i look down. it's as if the whole entire break up never even happened, i like it like that though.

"how're you?" i ask her. she looks up at me in a shocked kind of way.

"im fine, you?" she smiles a little bit.

"im good, i made you some tea."

she laughs, "thanks." it's like she thought i forgot. the drink she's constantly talking about, as if i could forget.

"i'm off to go to school are you going to come too?" i ask her.

"um... yeah sure."

she gets changed and we leave off to the bus. i sit next to her, trying to forget about these past couple days.

"i'm gonna go to class," she gets up off of the table and starts walking. imogen follows her. i can't hear what they're talking about but i know it's not going to end up well because millie keeps picking at her fingers. she does that when she's stressed. i pick up my phone to text her.

nick: do you wanna meet up at lunch?

i wait for her to grab her phone, she doesnt. i go to my first lesson and i can't stop thinking about millie and what imogen said to her.

hours later i walk around the lawn trying to find millie. she hasn't answer my text but i know she's seen it. i sit down and think about where she is. the bathroom. i walk over to the womens bathroom and i open the door, looking down just in case someones here. "millie?" im knocking on the only locked stall. she opens the door and i walk in with her just in case someone else comes into the bathroom. "how're you?" i ask her. she's picking at her fingers, "i'm really great! i don't have any friends or any one to really talk to, i'm alone in this stupid world that's empty and the only person i thought i could trust seemed to tell everybody i'm a psychopath that doesn't eat but they're not wrong," she pauses to laugh for a second. "that's exactly what i am. im absolutely so happy and so, so joyful that im the schools 'loner'." she looks at my face that must look very confused because tears start running down her face. "imogen told me. she told me that im embarrassing you and that you want to stay away from me. i can't have you do that," she takes a second to catch her breath. "i can't have you leave me. you're my best friend and the only person i have. please, please don't leave me." i pull her in for a hug while she sobs on my chest and repeats, "please don't leave."

we get home. she left me. three days ago she told me she was leaving. i thought about that all of my classes. why is she sobbing, she left. i didn't leave. i didn't tell imogen anything about her issue. i didnt do it. i then think about this morning and how if felt like everything was better. she was better.