lover boy

part eleven

"good moooooorning!" nick says. it's funny how happy he is in the morning. "good morning!" he ruffles my hair. it's sweet how nice he is to me. "did you bring your uniform?" i ask him. "yeah!" he sits up. "we have to go actually."

he walks into the bathroom to change, i change in my room. he walks back in with messed up hair and his tie in his hands. "i forgot, my mom does my tie." this makes me laugh. i put my hands out so he'll come closer. my ties already done so im ready to leave. i wrap the tie around him, i start tying it once i see him staring at me. "what?" i laugh. he snaps out of it, "oh! uhm nothing!" he looks around, smiling. i finish his tie and he looks at me.

"what are you going to say at school?"

"i, uh, dunno." i say. "what're you going to say?"

"i wasn't sure, can we just keep it quiet? i don't want stuff do go around."

"oh, okay!" i slip on my shoes.

"i'll see you around, then?" he's half out the door.

"yeah, see you!" i answer. he leaves. i put my head in my hands. i feel like i forget every word ever when i'm talking.

i hear the bus and i run outside with my shoes untied and my bag slipping off of me. i step onto the bus, nicks talking with his rugby friends and im back where i was before. sitting on the bus by myself.

after this moment right now, i'm going to be a different person. i'm not going to be the sad girl who sits by herself on the bus. i'm not going to be the girl who no one likes. i'm not going to mess up whatever i have with nick. i'm not going to ruin anybody, including myself.

i get to school, vowing what i said to myself on the bus. stay away from the girls and the rugby team. i walk past them just looking forward. i can see nick but barely.

"fun time at my party?" harry says, hopping up from the table he was sitting on.

crap.

"yeah, thanks." i continue to walk. nick stands up.

"i loved your outfit!" lucy says.

"thank you." i stop, letting them say whatever to me.

"could you all stop?" nick has his arms crossed over his chest.

"what, is she your girlfriend?" harry snickers.

nick looks up at me and looks at harry. "no. picking on people is wrong though so stop."

i bite the insides of my cheek.

"it's just jokes!" harry laughs while i walk away.

i hate them. i hate them all. why do they say things to me. why won't they just leave me alone?

-a few weeks later-

i lie in my cold bed. my parents have delayed their coming back for a long while now. it's winter break. me and nick are even closer than we were before, especially because it's almost christmas. i love christmas.

"what do you want for christmas?" nick has his arms around me.

"mmm..." i think. "i dunno, what do you want?" i smile.

"hm, i want a....." he pauses. "i want a date with you."

i laugh and turn red. "i can make that happen."

he has a big smile on his face. his mom walks in, she's grown to like over these past few weeks. she probably thought i was some slut who was sleeping with nick. i'm not.

"what are you two up to?" she's stirring something in her cup.

"nothing!" nick says, still having a huge smile on his face.

"have you told her yet?" his mom looks at me, also smiling.

nick gives her a look and then looks at me. he obviously hasn't told me. he walks me up to his room and has me take a seat.

"what nick? what is it?" i ask. i'm visibly concerned.

"it's nothing bad!" he pauses. "i'm going on a holiday with my mom."

"how long?"

"um..." he looks down. "two weeks."

"okay..." i try to make him not feel bad. "where are you going?"

"paris." he's smiling but he still looks sad.

"that'll be fun!! i'm excited for you!"

"i feel bad i don't want you to be by yourself for christmas."

it wouldn't be the first time. "i'll be okay!" i somewhat lie. i'm sure i'll be fine, i have been by myself for a long time. my parents won't be back for another two weeks but i'm sure they'll postpone it some more.

"okay.." his head is down slightly. i grab his hand, "nick, im promise i'll be fine, really." he give me a smile. "i forgot to tell you..." he stops. "we're leaving today."