Survivor { R5 fanfiction}

Chapter Seven

ROSS

Come on Ross, get a grip on yourself it's been a hour that you're howling.

I sniff and wipe my tears with my sleeve. I need to get out of here, I havr to see Riker, in order to talk. I really need to talk with someone.

I get up with difficulty avoiding the debris of the shelf that I knocked over a bit earlier. I unlock the door and go out. Riker isn't here, he must be in the bedroom. I join him. I gently knock , and pass my head on the door frame.

"Hum... Riker? Can we talk? About... You know?"I feel my eyes sting again.

No Ross that's enough!

I take a deep breath and go into the room. Riker is holding the bar of the higher bed, mine, and his eyes are close. There is something in his hand. A bottle of whisky. Empty.

Oh no.

"Riker, you're okay?"

No answer.

"Where did you get this bottle Riker?" I carefully get closer but he reject me with the back of his hand.

"Get off Ross..."

He has red eyes, but he didn't cry, it is the alcohol. Damn it has been 4 month that he was sober.

"Riker... Where did you get this bottle?"

"It's none of your buisiness."

"Riker you're drunk give me that bottle" I try again.

"I won't give you that fucking bottle Ross!"

I back up, he is getting angry.

"Everything is my fault."

"What?"

"It's my fault!"

"No it's not Riker, it's nobody's fault..." I get closer a bit again,but I step backwards immediatly.

"Of course it is Ross! You don't understand anything!"

Now I'm the one who is getting angry.

"Me? I don't understand anything? I just spent a hour in the bathroom howling like crazy and you're telling me that I don't understand anything ?!" I yell.

"Shut up Ross!"

With a look full of rage, he throws his bottle at me. It smashes against the door in thousand pieces, and I cover my face with my hands as I bend down , to avoid the shards.

"Everything's my fault, Ross! Everything! If I had not let you go inside this bloody apartment, Rocky would have been here with us!" He shout at me.

I don't dare to take my hands out of my face. Riker threw his bottle at me, on purpose. He has never been violent with me, never.

He scares me. My big brother is scaring me.

I feel someting leaking on my cheek. I palpate it and note that I have blood on my fingers. One of the shard of glass reached me and cut me. I decide to look at Riker. He seems completly disorientated, ready to fall apart.

"I... I... I didn't want to..." He should have noticed my cheek.

"I... I..." He starts sobbing.

I get up, still holding my cheek, and get closer to him, still gently. His reactions can change suddenly.

"Everything's my fault, Ross, everything..."
Riker is in tears now, and he let me hold him in my arms.

"Shhhh... Riker, it's not your fault..."