Survivor { R5 fanfiction}

Chapter 43

Yes, I'm still alive.
First of all, I'm very sorry for not updating earlier. I saw on instagram it's been 3 weeks. 3 WEEKS. I'm so horrible 😅... had a lot of writerblocks (and still have). It's pretty hard to explain, I know the story line of the chapter, but I can't pick good sentences, or make the chapter turns good . Like I said it's pretty hard to explain. So yeah, sorry. I know I say this all the time but I feel terrible for barely updating, while other people update like every two days and their chapters are good af.
Anyway, Hope you'll enjoy this one ❤️
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ROSS

Going outside is cool, since I'm used to it. Especially if that means getting away from the others at the refuge. So when Ratliff proposed me to accompagn them, I didn't refuse even though I have trouble to walk right now. But it doesn't matter.

It's not their fault, really. It's still complicated for me to be around people, especially after so long and in my physical condition. Ell tried to tell me everything's fine now, but I'm still suspicious.

The street is quiet, and there was no Infecteds, weak or strong, on the horizon, which is kind of weird. But I soon realise this area must be peaceful, if they settled here. I mean, who would go live on a place where you can be attacked any second? It's pretty stupid.

It may be safe here, but the forced shops and houses with shattered windows, the carcasses of the cars, the litters on the floor, all of this reminds you you'll be safe for a moment, but it won't last. We survived in a new world for almost a year now, and our enemies rule the world. We can't do anything about it.

I am walking behind Ell and his new friends, Derek and another guy, whatever his name is, plus Heather. She is the only one who actually has been nice and talked to me, since I land at their refuge. But once again, it's not their fault. I'm not sure I would have start a conversation with a guy who's been bitten and act weird.

Cause yes, I look like a freak.

I shut myself away, don't say a word and inflict this to myself, but I can't help it. They're cheering, and seem to forget I am here. Ell did talk to when we got out, but only to get informations about my siblings, and where they live now. He quickly offered his condolences to me when I told him about Rocky, a hurt expression visible on his face. It didn't last though, and he quickly joined the others, leaving me alone.

Ratliff has more fun with his new friends you can tell. I'm the intruder and I shouldn't be here. I disturb them in their routine. I probably sound like a jealous drama queen, but my feelings are intensified because of this transformation I never desired to have.

I hang my head low as I shoot in a can at my feet. It's better that way anyway. I keep glancing around me so I won't feel angry and sad everytime I see them laughing. I have to admit my heart breaks a little more everytime I look forward. It is until one of them halts, turns around and moves toward me. I recognize the gait of the figure as Derek. Ell grabs his forearm frowning at him though, something he does a lot now, but Derek quickly explains him something, and Ell's features soon relax and he loosens his grip.

I pretend I didn't notice anything and keep looking around me as he comes, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

"Hey Ross, hum... Can we talk?"

"Yeah." At least I'll have some compagny. Derek looks surprised first, you can tell by the way his eyes opened wide at my answer, but he takes a deep breath and goes on.

"I wanted to apologise."

Apologise? What is he talking about? My frown deepens as I tilt my head on the side.

"About your arrival I mean. I should've not been that, hum, violent? You came from nowhere and I needed to protect them. You seemed so close to finish your tranformation I got scared I guess... And I had a bad time with Infecteds in the past."