CHASING YOU || JIKOOK ✅

14

Jimin pov

"I, was trying to figure out what was different about you this morning."

"It's your glasses. You're not wearing your glasses," jungkook said, looking over at me from the opposite end of the sofa.

I pointed up towards my eyes "Contacts. I still have my glasses, though."

"Good." He cleared his throat.

"I mean, you look good, Jimin. Really good. I just..." His voice trailed off and he looked down at his lap.

For some reason, I knew I needed to be patient with him. I could tell he was nervous. I was nervous too.

"I don't know where to start," he said.

"Wherever you want." I had a million questions about what happened between us, but I figured he came here to tell me, or ask me something, and I should just let him get it out.

"I'm gay." He laid his head against the couch and squeezed his eyes shut.

A tear rolled down his cheek.

I knew I should've said something, but I was stunned. Frozen.

Even after everything that happened, it felt surreal.

He opened his eyes, dried the tear off his cheek with his shoulder, and looked at me.

"You look surprised. I figured after last night..." His voice trailed off. He sighed.

"God, it feels so good to finally say that out loud."

I cleared my throat and tried to ignore the lump in it. "So, you've never said it before?"

He looked at me with his perfect dark chocolate eyes and shook his head.

Tears were streaming down his cheeks. "I couldn't," he said. "Until now. I'm sorry, Jimin."

"Why are you sorry? You have nothing to be sorry about, Jungkook."

He laughed. "I have a million things to be sorry about. I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. I'm sorry I let you believe I was something I wasn't. I'm sorry I treated you like shit back then."

"Kookie, I..." I was trying to figure out what to say.

"It's okay," I finally said, feeling like he needed some sort of absolution.

"The truth is, I wish you'd have talked to me back then. I've always wanted to apologize for what happened that night. I—"

He interrupted me. "Apologize to me? For what?" He looked at me in disbelief.

"For... I don't know." I chuckled.

"I made a pass at you. I touched you without your permission. If I hadn't done that I mean, I shouldn't have done it."

"I always thought if you'd have let me apologize, we could have fixed our friendship."

He looked at me. "God, Chim, do you really think that any of what happened between us was your fault?"

"It wasn't. It was all on me. I just... I couldn't face it back then. I couldn't accept it. My father... I don't know."

I was trying to follow what he was saying, but he was talking in riddles.

Clearly, he was in distress, but I wasn't sure how to help him.

"Look, I'll let you apologize for ghosting me back then. It was shitty. But I'm telling you it's okay."

"I won't let you apologize for not coming out to me sooner. That's bullshit. We were young."

"Confused. Whatever. Coming out is a personal choice, Jungkook. You should never feel pressured to do it."

He looked over at me. "Honestly, it still terrifies me. But I'm so fucking exhausted. I'm so tired of pretending I'm something I'm not. But at the same time, the thought of telling my father, of telling Coach, or the guys on the team... God, I don't know if I can do it," he said, as he furiously wiped tears from his cheeks.

My heart broke for him in that moment. I scooted next him. I opened my arms.

"Come here." I pulled him into a tight hug, and I was surprised by the way he clung to me. His head on my shoulder. Tears soaking my shirt.

"You know, you don't have to pretend anymore. Not with me. And you also don't have to tell anyone you don't want to. It's not all or nothing."

He finally pulled away from our embrace and wiped his eyes. "Huh?"

"I just mean you don't have to tell everyone all at once. You've told me. And if you want to tell someone else that might be supportive, fine."

"If not, fine. But there's no rule that says you have to do it all at once."

"If you're not ready for your father to know, or your Coach, or the team, just don't tell them."

I could finally see some of the weight being lifted off his shoulders. He looked up and blinked at me.

"Jiminie, have I totally fucked our friendship? I mean, is there any way I can fix it?"

I smiled at him. "You're here, Kook. We're talking. When I told you earlier today that I missed our friendship, I meant it."

"I think we're fixing it right now."

He nodded and whispered, "I am sorry."

"New rule," I said, "you can't say you're sorry for the rest of the night."

He laughed. "Okay. S—I mean, I won't."

I laughed. "Oh my God, you were about to say it again."

He held up two fingers. "Scout's honor. I won't say it again."

I elbowed him. "You were never a Boy Scout. I don't believe you. Hey, you want a beer or something?"

"Nah. I can't drink tonight. I have a game tomorrow."

"Right. I think I have something that'll make you feel better," I said, smiling.

He watched me as I walked into the kitchen. He was grinning from ear to ear when I came back with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk.

And, fuck, I loved seeing that smile. It had been too long.

"Are those what I think they are?"

"Yep, chocolate chunk with oatmeal," I said, putting the plate down in front of him.

"God, I've missed these things," he said, taking a massive bite out of one.

I shrugged. "We sell them at the bakery. You could have had one anytime you wanted."

He shook his head. "Not like this. None of them taste like yours."

"Actually, those came from the bakery. They use my recipe."

"Are you kidding? That's awesome."

"Do you get a cut of the profits or something?"

I laughed. "No. I just never liked the cookies they sold, so I baked some one day and brought them to the owner and he started using my recipe."

"God, you should open your own bakery and they should be paying you for these," he said, taking another bite.

I rummaged through the basket under the coffee table and pulled out the Xbox controllers. "You wanna?"

He grinned. "You know I'm never gonna say no to a game."

As I set up the game, he looked around the apartment. "Jimin, I think this might be the nicest college apartment that I've ever been in."

I chuckled. "It's all tae. He's an Interior Design major."

"If it were up to me, we'd be sitting on my mother's old couch from the garage and the TV would be on milk crates."

Two hours later, we were still playing, talking, laughing, and it felt like I was home again.

====================================================