Synching With the Devil's Son

Chapter 37

Lucien's P.O.V.

As Bella leads me away to help take care of my 'issue' again, I asses her eagerness and realize I'm falling for her, and for the fact she wants to help me. Not once in my life has anyone ever considered what I might need or desire, not even my parents. Sure, they gave me sustenance, a roof over my head and clothes to wear when I was younger, but they never asked what I wanted, just groomed me to blindly follow in my father's footsteps. Bella's actions are changing all that, establishing a crack in the armor I always surround myself with. She's so innocent and inexperienced, but everything about her screams 'Goddess' to me. The way she looks, the way she moves, the way her soft voice and gentle smile makes my heart contract painfully. Is this how Dad felt when he met Mom?

I revel in the feel of Bella's hands moving over me again, and once more I'm amazed how quickly she brings me to climax. When she teases me about being good for a while, I tease her back, but my jest falls on deaf ears. She starts comparing herself to her friend, who is admittedly gorgeous, but Trish doesn't hold my interest like Bella does. Then she reminds me of all the times I put her down, and she may as well have stabbed a knife in my gut, rending me open from head to toe. How do I tell her I was masking my insecurities behind a veil of malice? The moment we met, I felt an instant connection with her, but I was so pissed at my father that I didn't bother to investigate that revelation any farther. Later, I was furious about being forced into the company of these children which only emphasized the constant solitude that has plagued me for centuries, so I used my anger to lash out, purposefully picking Bella apart in an attempt to make myself feel better.

When she reminds me of my behavior, I can feel a fire ignite in the same place she stabbed me with her metaphorical knife. I am not the only asshole who has taken pieces of Bella for themselves, but if I ever find the man that made her doubt her own beauty and self worth, I'm going to present him with a one way ticket to Hell. I need to explain myself, I need to tell her who I am, and I need to do it now.

I start trying to explain, trying to put to words how I know she's going to be afraid of me once she finds out I'm the Devil's son. I have to find a way to make her accept me, but she doesn't understand what I am, couldn't possibly understand because humans do not believe divinity exists. I take a deep breath and ask if she is ready to go on that hike I suggested we take. I need some time and space to formulate what I am going to tell her. Besides, if her reaction is witnessed by her friends, I would have to field questions I am not willing to answer. More than likely, that unfortunate scenario could spell disaster for me and my father.

She agrees to join me, then tells me she has to go back to camp and get her boots since the flip flops she's wearing are not sturdy enough to hike in. That's fine because I have no idea how to start the conversation we need to have. I sure wish I knew how my father explained to my mother he was not evil and convince her to give him a chance. How did she react? She obviously got over him being the Devil, otherwise I wouldn't be here. I'm pulled out of my reverie when I hear Daniel tell us to be careful and to be back before it gets too dark. Give me a break man, Bella is perfectly safe with me because I am the most dangerous thing in this forest. That realization suddenly terrifies me, a feeling I've rarely had before, because Bella might have the exact same thought.