Synching With the Devil's Son

Chapter 47

Lucien's P.O.V.

I cannot believe Bella is being so receptive and amenable. She believes me and even admits she has feelings for me too! I want to shout to the Heavens, sing Hallelujah and kiss her senseless. For the first time in a long time, I am looking forward to seeing my Dad. I cannot wait to tell him what a significant and historic weekend I've had.

The thought of my father brings another issue to the forefront of my mind. "I promise that I don't have any more monumental revelations to throw your way right now, but I do have a question," I tell her, unzipping my backpack and handing her a sandwich. She takes it with a quiet "thanks," and turns to find someplace to sit while we eat. There is nothing obvious to perch on in the meadow, so we head back toward the river bank and find a large flat rock partially shaded by the trees.

"What is your question?" she asks, taking a bite out of her sandwich.

"Well, now that you know what I am and who my father is, do you want us to find the man who attacked you?" She stops chewing and looks at me, dumbfounded.

"You can do that?" she asks around the food in her mouth.

I quirk my lips. "We can do that. It's something we used to do a lot actually, but had to stop because I...I...hurt somebody." I swallow and grimace, remembering the event well. When I look at Bella, she's furrowing her brows, so I go on to explain. "In my insolent youth, I tended to overreact when we found our quarry, and...umm...there was an extraneous casualty during an apprehension one day." She's quietly looking at me, waiting for me to explain. "We, uhh..." I have to clear my throat because the thought of what I did still bothers me. I suddenly find the flowers surrounding us very interesting, so I pick one, examining its petals closely until I finally have the fortitude to expound, albeit briefly.

"Let's just say that although my Dad's an angel, and I'm half an angel, we both have a demonic side. Demons thrive on anger and fear, and I was too inexperienced to reign mine in." I'm worried I may have frightened her with that admission, but when I get the nerve to glance at her, she looks contemplative instead of scared.

"Wow!" Bella exclaims. "Okay, so you killed someone when you and your Dad were trying to bring someone else to Hell?" she asks.

When I nod, a bolus of bile settles in my stomach. I should have warned her - this is yet another grenade I've launched at her after telling her I would take it slow. I attempt to smile to lighten my admission, but the reality is, it looks more like a grimace. I admitted my darkest secret to her...she knows who I am and what I did. I send a quick prayer to my Grandfather hoping this won't be the final straw that unbalances the delicate grasp she has on her sanity.

She looks at me with compassion in her eyes, a look I was not expecting. "I need to understand something," she says quietly. "Did you mean to have an 'extraneous casualty' when you set out to find whomever you were looking for?"

I vehemently shake my head. "We are not allowed to hurt people, that's why we had to stop hunting the assholes of the world." I look up into the sky, preparing to admit yet another soul shattering secret I've carried around with me for three hundred years. "Sometimes I feel like it's my fault, you know?" When I look at her, she's gazing at me quizzically. "If I hadn't overreacted that day, my Dad and I could have prevented a lot of misery in the world by removing the root causes before they had a chance to act on their evil impulses."

Her eyes widen, and she starts shaking her head. "There are too many assholes, Lucien, and attempting to stop them all would have been like trying to fly a kite in a hurricane. Eventually you would have seen only the worst in people, and maybe even lost yourselves to your demonic personalities." I startle at that revelation. I never thought about it that way, I only ever castigated myself when the world's super assholes came to power. My self-loathing over the incident has been weighing mercilessly on me for generations, and with one statement, she's unbound the chains that have dragged me through the metaphorical dirt.

I gaze at her with admiration while she shifts in her seat, getting more comfortable on the rock while crossing her legs, Indian style. "I don't think you're a monster," she admits, "and I'm sure whomever was collateral damage wasn't going to be nominated for any Nobel prizes if they were hanging around the jackass you were really after, right?"

I look at her in astonishment, and just like that, all my guilt, all the angst and self-flagellation believing I left the world vulnerable to monsters like Ivan, Stalin and Hitler, dissolves. I feel like crying in relief, but instead I refocus on Bella when she says, "I want to go back to the fact you and your Dad can figure out who my attacker is. You have a way to find him?"

I nod. "There is a celestial record for every evil act committed by people, they're all logged and accounted for and the records are kept in my father's office. Eventually, most people who have perpetrated those acts find themselves at our gates. We are then tasked to punish them for their behavior, using their misdeeds and fears as a premise for their torture." I try to explain as simply as I can. "We can find him if we search through our records...it might take a while, but I promise you we can do it."

Bella thinks about this for a moment. "What will you do when you find him?"

"Well...we will make him pay for what he did to you," I say simply.

"But what does that mean? You're not planning on killing him, are you?"

"No, but if he dies under our 'care'," I use my fingers as quotation marks, "then it's not on us. Like I said, we are not allowed to purposefully kill humans. I don't think Grandpa would be very forgiving if it happened again."

I can see Bella try to swallow that information. She mouths the word 'Grandpa' and I know what she's thinking. I grin at her when she says, "Oh Shit! Your Grandfather is GOD!!! He actually exists? If there is a Hell I guess there must be a Heaven, of course He exists. I'm starting to wish I had paid closer attention in Sunday school..." As she stars babbling, her eyes go a little wild. "You know what? Suddenly I do not feel very good," she tells me as she puts her sandwich back in the bag I packed it in. Then she places her hands on the rock and looks down at her lap, taking in deep breaths. "I have a therapist, you know?" she says quietly, finally looking up at me. "She's been helping me cope with my assault, but I wonder what she'd say if I told her I have proof God and the Devil exist."

I cannot help but smile at the thought of Bella trying to convince a doctor the divine is real. I walk over to where she's sitting and grasp her hands gently in mine. When she turns her gorgeous eyes in my direction I say, "I'd probably hold off on the whole Heaven and Hell issue. She might insist you take medication, and I don't want anything to alter your senses when you're with me."

Her eyes get glassy and and she frowns. "Bella, please don't cry. I don't ever want to be the reason you cry." I can physically feel her sorrow and it makes my stomach roil.

"Lucien, what am I doing here? You are a literal demi-God, your family is...is..." she stops speaking when the words she is trying to convey desert her. "I have never been religious," she continues, "Do I have preconceived ideas about Heaven and Hell, God and the Devil? Sure. But they don't align with what you're telling me, or what I've witnessed, about who you are." I see a tear stream down her face, and I swipe it with the pad of my thumb.

"Let's stick to things less undefinable, give you time to adjust to your new reality. I know I've just tilted your world on it's axis." She smiles and emits a choked up chuckle, nodding her head. "So," I say, trying to think about how to change the subject. "What are you going to do this summer after you graduate?"