Epiphany (BL)

Life is Short

~chapter twelve~

Pov Haru

Everything felt slow.

I had a hard time moving as I closed the door to the outside world.

I should have run after him, I should have talked to him. Why haven't I done anything...

Why?

My half-formed movements to reach the chair took all my energy I had left.

I flumped down and after a sad try to get up I remained in this position.

A deep whimper came out from my together pressed lips.

My veiny hands got tighter around my knees, forming myself into a ball.

I tried to hold back my crying.

I felt like a world had collapsed on me.

Covering my face in the crook of my arms, I let it all out.

All the things that had happened, no matter how long ago, inevitably came over me now.

I saw myself scared in front of my father as a small child.

I had brought home a bad grade at that time.

His screams seemed endless and pounded in my head.

I saw myself as a teenager when some of my classmates found out I was gay.

They made fun of me and even threatened to harm me.

I saw myself breaking up with Akita and him running away from me with tears in his eyes, leaving my heart aching.

Finally, I found myself kneeling by my mother's deathbed, her hand in mine.

~back then~

Her beautiful long hair was gone, leaving a bald patch in its place.

Her skin was pale and her body was emaciated.

The nurse said it would only be a matter of hours.

I visited her every day, but this time seemed to be the last.

She looked at me, her eyelids heavy and her eyes filled with tears.

Doctors had failed to remove the tumor in her chest area, which now spread like an ominous fog.

My mother parted her pale colorless lips.

I tried not to cry.

My father taught me to hide my emotions of this kind from a very young age.

He himself just stood in a corner of the cold and empty room and didn't even bat an eyelid.

He said feelings only prevent one from making the right decisions that would lead to great success.

I heard a soft throat clearing coming from the body next to me.

She gave me a loving look and with the last of her strength she stroked my face.

I sobbed, grabbing her hand, never wanting to let go.

"You are such a strong boy Haruya. I love you so much."

I looked at her, a tear appearing in the corner of my eyes.

"But you have to promise me something..."

her voice sounded uneven and raspy, but her words stayed without the recognition of my father.

I nodded.