Frerard you incomplete asshats
xx today is opposite day (but it's still frerard)
jeffykoko
-
I wiped the sweat from my forehead, leaning forward in my chair and hearing the legs creak under my weight. Looking down at my pale, tattoo-less hands that were folded and placed between my legs, I exhaled slowly.
Today was the day. Today was our anniversary from the day we just met- and today was the day that he was gonna move in with me.
I've constantly begged for him to move in, saying that after being together for about two years, we should probably move in with each other. He reluctantly agreed; then started to pack even while we spoke to each other on Skype.
I stared at the computer screen, the brightness soft but still stinging my eyes. I scrolled down a few bars, reading paragraphs that meant the world to me at one point- it was different now.
It meant sorrow.
"You do know that at first when we just met through some weird website and I was about to call you on Skype for the very first time, I was actually a bit skeptical? Like, I thought that you were some pedophile trying to pull me in." He joked, smiling at what he said. Though the video chat made him look... blurry. It didn't make him look like him. Just- disfigured. "I'm happy I met you. And I'm glad to be moving in with you next week."
I was beaming, now. I was smiling ear to ear and there was no one stopping me. Not anymore. "Y'know, you mean everything to me. If I didn't have those friends, I probably would have never met you. We wouldn't be having this conversation right here, right now."
I blinked, rubbing my eyes afterwards. I've been up for about a fairly amount of time; and everything was just getting to my head. Everything seemed okay; I was able to breathe normally without feeling the heaviness on my chest- but I just felt empty.
There was something that was missing. Though many wouldn't know what exactly that 'missing' thing was, but I knew for sure. I was also sure of another thing that many would be confused about;
That 'thing' would be the death of me. It would be the one main reason that would put me in my grave.
We were heads-over-heels over each other; no one could rip us apart from each other's sides unless we had to.
There was nobody else that we could want, nothing else that we would want, and there was nothing much more valuable than each other. I knew what he wanted and I knew what I wanted. He knew the same.
We kissed at midnight of New Year's, cuddled up on the sofa and watched endless amounts of cheesy films, and even just went to coffee shops and talked to each other the old fashioned way.
We loved each other equally.
That's why, in our first argument, I was scared to death.
"Hey," He said, smiling a smile that didn't reach up to his eyes. Seeing that I caught on, his smile dropped. "So... what is it? What's up? What made you wanna chat with me, after denying all my calls, after this long?"
Looking up, I said, "It's just that... I miss it. I miss talking to you and, I just wanted to have small talk after all this time. There's nothing wrong with that so, you go first. Tell me anything."
Anything.
"Well, you know that girl, um, Jamia?" He smiled, this time a genuine grin, as he looked at me through the computer screen. "Well, we're together now."
This time, I smiled a fake grin, but luckily he didn't see as I started to congratulate him. He then said that he was getting another call from someone else. We said our goodbyes and hung up.
At least he moved on. That was all that mattered.
But me? No- I haven't.
I clicked back to the paragraphs that we have sent to each other, most of them equally sappy.
But nonetheless, I knew that I would always love him, regardless of what arguments we got into and what happened to us.
And I still did.
