Bucky. That's all Steve wanted and needed in his life. Before the war, during, and even after, all Steve wanted was his solider. His Bucky.
After the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Steve kept trying to find Bucky to bring him home. Everyone was against this...
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Beep beep beep
"On your left" a voice says.
I turn my head towards the voice and see Sam sitting there. All of a sudden I remember what happened to get me here.
"Bucky" I say starting to panic. Where is he? Is he okay? Is he still alive? Does Hydra have him again?
"Hey hey Cap, breathe. I need to you to stop panicking okay? We don't know where Barnes is. We found you on the shore line of the river but haven't found him. I don't even know which version he is right now." Sam says.
"Sam I have to find him okay? I have too." I tell him.
"Why? Steve he tried to kill you. I know he is your old buddy your pal but seriously he is dangerous." Sam says.
I let out a sign and realize no one understands why Bucky is so important to me. I look over at Sam will tears in my eyes.
"Sam there is something no one knows. And I am trusting you to keep it that way okay?" I ask.
"Of course anything Steve." He says.
"Sam I am dead serious. No one can know about this. At least not yet." I say.
"Okay okay. I get it." He says.
"Bucky is more to me than just my bestfriend. He is...or was...well I don't really know now but he was my boyfriend in the back in the day. No one knew except for us, my mom, and Peggy. I am not just trying to save Bucky because he is my friend. I am trying to save him because he is the love of my life. Always has been and always will be. I have lost him too many times Sam. I cannot do it anymore." I say finally letting the tears fall.
It feels good to finally tell someone that I am gay. It almost feels like the weight on my chest and shoulders have finally lifted allowing me to breathe.
"Gotta say I am proud of you for finally coming out." Sam says chuckling.
"Wait. You knew?" I ask
"Steve, it takes one to know one. Like you, I am not as open about it either. My partner and I have been keeping it on the DL as well. So I promise, your secret is safe with me okay?" Sam says.
I let out a sigh of relief knowing I am not being judged and that my secret is being save.
"Yeah thanks man." I say.
"Get some sleep Cap. You look like shit." He says making me chuckle a little bit.
I fall into a deep sleep dreaming about my Bucky.
Dream
"Buckyyyy can you please stay still? I am trying to draw you and every time you move it messes me up." I say to him. He gives me his signature smirk.
"Yeah but Stevie, I just wanna cuddle. I finally have a day off and wanna spend it with the one I love." He says.
"Just 15 more minutes and I promise we can cuddle okay?" I tell him smiling.
As promised 15 minutes later I finish and I place my sketch book down and walk over to the bed. Bucky opens his arms up and does his cute little grabby hands pulling me into him.
"Mmmmm Stevie you fit so perfect against me" Bucky says.
"Bucky I am pretty sure I fit against anything almost perfect because I am as scrawny as they come" I tell him.
Bucky doesn't respond and just starts kissing me cheek down to my neck. I can't help but moan and squirm a little bit against him.
"Maybe so, but doll, I love this little body of yours. When I cuddle you I can protect you and keep you save." He says in a raspy voice into my ear. "I love you Steven Grant. You are perfect to me. Even if I have to keep saving your ass from getting beat up in the ally."
"I love you too but hey I don't need protecting okay. I always have them on the ropes" I protest.
"Whatever you say. But I'll never stop protecting you. You are mine and I protect what's mine" Bucky whispers pulling me closer snuggling into me. We eventually fall asleep holding each other close all afternoon.
Dream time skip
"Steve" Bucky says
"Yeah" I say looking over at him.
"I wanna have a date." He says.
I begin to panic because we can't go out as a couple. This is highly frowned upon.
"Buck, you know we can't go out as a couple" I say
He sighs "I know. But I have a plan. Can you just trust me please? I want it to be perfect for us since it would be our actual first date together" he says.
I can see in his eyes that he is begging for me to say yes. And honestly I cannot say no to that face.
"Okay fine. Fine you win. I will have a date with you" I say blushing
The next day I had to run out into town and get a few things. Bucky had another day off work so I just let him sleep in. When I was coming back I heard music playing from inside the place. What the heck?
I walk inside and see Bucky standing there with a single rose in his hand. He had a simple button up on and his hair was styled back perfectly.
"Hi doll, welcome home" he says. My breathing picks up and I am a blushing smiling mess.
"H-h-hi b-babe" I stutter out walking closer to him and place the items from the store down.
He hands me the rose and puts a hand on my cheek tipping my head back while gently places his lips against mine. Every time he kisses me it takes my breath away. Of course I have asthma but hey if I die from his kiss that is one hell of a way to go.
When he pulls back, he grabs my hand and leads me into the living room. There is a small fire going to keep us warm and blankets along the floor with a small selection of food around.
I look up at Bucky and see him already looking at me. "You did all of this for me?" I asked.
"Of course I did. It is our first official date and I wanted it to be perfect for you." He says then leads me over for us to sit down on the blankets.
After we ate we continued to talk all night. Bucky leans in and pulls me close kissing me deeply. Music was still playing softly in the background. Bucky stands up and pulls me against his chest and we slow dance together for the very first time. We danced for what felt like hours. As the night went on, we were back down on the blankets and Bucky rolled me onto my back. He looks into my eyes and leans down to kiss me. The kiss led us to having our first intimate night together. Bringing us closer than we have ever been"
Dream over!
I wake up and realize I am crying. "...oh Bucky I miss you...." I say and continue crying myself back to sleep.
