Bucky. That's all Steve wanted and needed in his life. Before the war, during, and even after, all Steve wanted was his solider. His Bucky.
After the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Steve kept trying to find Bucky to bring him home. Everyone was against this...
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"Hi doll..." I say to Steve as he opens the door.
"Y-y-you...y-you..r-r-rememb-ber?" He asks stuttering and tearing up.
"Um not everything. But some important pieces." I say awkwardly rubbing the back of my neck.
Taken by surprise, Steve pulls me into his arms and buries his head into my neck.
"You're really here. It's really you." He says.
As much as I hate physical contact, something about holding Steve screams safe, love, and comfort.
"Sorry..sorry, please come in" he says stepping out of the way letting me in.
We walk over to the couch and sit down. It was silent for a few minutes before he broke it.
"Uhh you probably aren't ready to really talk yet and by the looks of it, you haven't eaten anything good in a really long time and probably want a shower." He states.
"Actually yeah. If you do not mind but I don't have any spare clothes or anything." I blurt out.
"That's okay. I can give you some of my stuff. It may be a little big but that's okay." He says.
We stand up and I follow him into his bed room to where the shower is.
"Okay, over here is the towels and wash cloths. Feel free to use any body wash and shampoo in there. I'll grab some clothes for you real quick" he says rambling and walking out of the bathroom causing me to chuckle.
He comes back in with some sweat pants, boxers, socks, and a hoodie.
"Are you wanting to shave? I have a spare razor if you wanna use it." He says.
"Umm is it like the one's I used to use?" I asked.
"Unfortunately no, but if you want, I can help so you can learn? I don't know what you know and don't know" he says rambling again.
"Steve. It's okay. That could help a lot. Can you show me before I shower so I can clean any spare hair off?" I ask.
"Yeah yeah of course!" He says grabbing the stuff he needs.
He spends the next 20 minutes showing me everything new. Once it was all said and done, I jumped into the shower and got cleaned up. It was nice having a warm shower for once. Ever since the cyro freeze I am constantly cold. I finish up and dry off. I put on the clothes Steve gave me and they are a little big on me.
I walk out of the bathroom and just place my dirty clothes in his hamper. I don't want to leave them on the floor. I really hope he let's me stay. I don't know if he will or not. As I get closer to the kitchen I see him turn around and smile as me.
"I hope you're hungry. I made some eggs and bacon with toast" he says putting a plate on the table for me.
"Since when do you know how to cook?" I asked.
"Since I had to learn or I'd starve" he said laughing.
He came over and sat down with me and we began eating. It was in a comfortable silence. I missed being this close to him. I could feel his body heat coming off of him and it was so inviting to just curl up to but I couldn't. I could hurt him.
Once we were done eating, Steve took our plates and cleaned up the dishes while I dried them. When we were done, we went back to the couch.
"Can I ask a question?" Steve asks.
"Yeah" I say quietly.
"What all do you remember of your past? Or me? Or anything?" He asks.
"Well, about two weeks after the fight on the hellicarriers, I went to the museum to your exhibit. While I was walking around, at the time I didn't know anything. I didn't know my name, who I was. Like literally nothing. But something inside of my knew you were good. Anyways, when I saw pictures of you before the serum I started getting flashbacks of us. They started off as simple basic stuff or trouble we'd get into. Then some of the army after you got the serum. But then, as the days and weeks went on, I started getting more of our intimate memories together. Sadly some of my other not so great memories are from all the stuff that happened to me or what I've done. For 3 months I have tried staying away but I couldn't. And when I tell you this you will probably be so mad at me. But I've been watching you for three months. I just had to make sure you were okay. I uhh also took your sketchbook/journal and read through it. Seeing and reading that stuff really helped me remember us. I took it the night you came home from the hospital and lost your shit in here. It broke my heart seeing you like that and I know that is such an invasive of privacy but I couldn't just stand and not do anything. I'm so sorry I didn't come sooner but I am still so scared of hurting you or anything else that's bad." I tell him looking down at my hands.
"Bucky, why did you come back?" He asked sensorily.
I looked up at him and he was looking at me. "Because after getting all these memories of us back, I have missed you so much. I know you probably don't even want me back as your boyfriend or lover or whatever because of all I have done. And I deserve you not wanting me anymore but I can't lose you as a friend. You are all I have and I need you more than I want to admit. I was trained to not show emotions or weakness but dammit I cannot hold it anymore and I just need you." I say tearing up some.
Steve gets up and sits closer to me and slowly places a hand on my cheek. "I don't care what version of yourself you are. I still love you. Winter soldier and all. What happened to you was not your fault. Hydra took advantage of you and they are the ones that killed all those people Bucky." He says.
"Yeah but I still did it Steve." I say sighing.
"Bucky. We both know you wouldn't have done any of that if it wasn't for hydra controlling you. And deep down you know that without me having to tell you. I am here for you for whatever you need. I promised you when we were 16 in my bedroom that I would love you till the end of the line and I still mean that. I have been trying to find you for 3 months to bring you home because here with me is where you belong. I don't care what you think or say but it's true. I know you have a lot of trauma and things you need and want to work out. And that's completely okay, but I'm not going anywhere. When I came out of the ice all I wanted was you. There has never been anyone else except for you. I am okay with still being boyfriend and boyfriend, but I will go at the pace you need. Okay?" He says.
I looked into his eyes and could tell he was not lying. I couldn't help myself but slowly lean in and press my lips against his.
He softly pulled me closer kissing me back. When we pulled away, he pulled me up onto him laying us down on the couch and he just held me.
I snuggled my head into his neck taking in his scent that I've missed so much. He starts playing with my hair and rubbing up and down my spine.
"Relax baby. Go to sleep. I got you. No one will ever hurt you again. I promise." He says kissing the side of my head.
He pulled a blanket over us feeling that I was still cold and I couldn't help but let the warmth and sleep take over me. I was finally with the man of my world and safe.
