Bucky. That's all Steve wanted and needed in his life. Before the war, during, and even after, all Steve wanted was his solider. His Bucky.
After the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Steve kept trying to find Bucky to bring him home. Everyone was against this...
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I lay here with Bucky in my arms and I can't help but cry right now. I held him so close to me fearing this was all a dream. He was finally back here in my arms and I couldn't be happier. I've dreamed of this happening since I found out he was still alive.
While snuggling I must have fallen asleep. I get woken up by Bucky whimpering and shaking. He starts to mumble in his sleep.
"No please. Don't. Please stop." He says repeatedly.
"Bucky. Baby. Wake up. It's okay you're safe. Listen to my voice. I'm here. I have you baby. I have you." I say softly in his ear over again.
Eventually he stops and pulls himself closer to me. He snuggles into my neck and settles back down. After another few hours of resting he finally wakes up.
"Mmm hi." He says in a groggy voice.
"Hi" I say back running my hands in his long hair. I then move my hand down and run it up and down his back softly to bring some comfort.
"How long was I asleep for?" He asked.
"Uhhh I think 3 ish hours" I tell him.
"Oh okay." Bucky says sitting up.
"You okay? You were whimpering a little bit and talking in your sleep some." I asked.
"Yeah. That happens when I get flashbacks or nightmares." He says playing with his fingers.
"That's okay. Do you want to talk about it? I mean you don't have to but I just..I didn't know if it would help or.." I ramble on before he cuts me off.
"Steve it's fine. However, I am not ready to talk yet." He says.
I just nod my head hoping one day he will trust me to open up to me. I want to be here for him and I don't know how to do that if he doesn't really talk. But I will figure it out.
"If you don't mind me asking, what thing's are you comfortable with and not comfortable with? That way I can make sure to not do something and it trigger anything." I ask.
He looks up at me and then down at his hands.
"Umm probably loud noises. If you need me or whatever, instead of coming up behind me and possibly spooking me, could you just call my name that way I don't freak out and try to attack you. I don't really like crowds. They make me nervous and being outside I am not a fan of yet." He says.
"That's okay. Go at whatever pace you need. I typically play music throughout the day but I will make sure it is not too loud so it doesn't bother you. The outside thing is okay. If you want you can stay here while I run to the store to get groceries. Or if I am gone on a mission you can stay. Or even if you want to just in general with me that's okay too" I say finishing with a blush.
"Wait. You want me to stay here?" He asked.
"Of course I would! Why wouldn't I?" I asked.
"Cause I am wanted man, I've killed, I've tried kill you a couple times, and I'm just an unstable monster." He says.
"Bucky please stop. I know what you think of yourself but that won't change my mind. I have a spare room if you want it. It's yours. I want you here and honestly I need you. But before you make a decision, there are a few things I need to discuss with you okay?" I ask.
He looks at me and just nods his head.
"Let's get something to eat while we talk. I know you are probably still hungry." I tell him reaching my hand out for him to grab onto.
We make our way into the kitchen as I begin to make some food for us. We engage in some small talk about our times as kids. When the food was ready, we sat down and began eating.
"So, I think you should know that the team knows I am looking for you. But clearly they do not know you are here now. Only 3 people know the real reason why I was trying to find you. To the others, they think it is just because we were best friends in the day. The other 3 actually know that I am gay, and know we were/are a couple. 1 of them is Sam. He was with us during that battle in D.C. Fury is another one and is looking to get revenge on hydra or what's left. He also has a connection with some really good people who could possibly get hydra out of your head if you are interested? He can also get us a safe house if we were to ever need one." I say to him then take a bite of food to let him take it all in.
"Can you keep me being here under the radar? I am not ready to be around others." He asks
"Yeah of course. Here in a little bit I'll run to the store and pick you up some stuff to have in your bathroom and some extra clothes." I tell him as we finish eating.
"Steve you don't need to do that. Honestly I'll be fine" he protests.
"Buck, I'm doing it. You aren't changing my mind. Just...just let me take care of you." I say softly looking at him.
He lets out a sign and nods his head.
"Okay okay. Fine. I'm just not used to people caring." He says quietly.
"I figured. But with me Bucky that's all I'll ever do." I tell him honestly.
He just nods his head.
"Alright, well if you are okay with it, I am going to go to the store now and get everything. Is there anything you want specifically?" I asked.
"Um no I don't think so. Maybe a thick blanket since I am always cold and some hoodies? That way I don't have to wear yours all the time." He says.
I smile at him "buck, you can wear my stuff I don't care. If it brings you some kind of comfort then wear it. I promise it won't bother me. Anyways, I will be gone for an hour or so since I am getting you clothes and us plenty of food. Please help yourself to anything you want. If you get tired, you can sleep in my room till I get back with the bedding for yours." I say.
"Thank you Steve. You have no idea how much this means to me." He says.
"No need to thank me. If the roles were reversed I know you would save me"
I then leave and go to the store grabbing everything I need plus some extra. I want him as comfortable as possible. I will do anything to keep him wanting to stay.
