Ruhani ~ The Language Of Love

31 ~ Begum chokes me but not to death

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Aashiq POV - Present Day

"Sultan, she is not recovering,"

The physician informed me and I closed the book for now.

I washed my running tears and she said further.

"The miscarriage did her immense blood loss. Her body is not responding to the medicines,"

I turned and looked at her.

"Don't disguise a murder as miscarriage,"

She lowered her sight and I stood up from the table and walked to Ruhani's bed.

My nights used to young but now they were frightening. Everyone retired to their chambers and as usual I was sitting beside my wife's side.

I sat on the edge of the bed and touched her weak, thin fingers.

"Galti ho gayi Ruhani, bhot badi galti ho gayi. Mar jaenge aapke bina,"

"I committed a mistake, Ruhani. I committed a terrible mistake. I will die without you,"

I said. My fingering quivering looking at her state. Her skin turning pale day by day. 

Her heartbeats almost inaudible and the physicians couldn't really tell what exactly was happening to her. Her state seems dead but her breathing was on.

Her heart was beating but she wasn't responding to any treatment. As if she had made her mind of giving up on this life and me, but she was waiting for someone.

I gulped as the my throat felt dry with the hoarse voice when I speak.

"Wapis aa jaiye, yaad nahi hai aapko ki hamari jaan to aapme basti hai. Or kitne gam hum udhaenge is jindagi me. Aapne to vada kiya tha hume samajhne ka, ye rishta nibhane ka. Aap to chod kar ja rahi hai. Jese Abbu chale gae"

"Come back please, don't you remember that you are my life. How many grief I would handle in this life. You promised to understand me, to bear with me. And now, you are leaving me, just like my father,"

I cried. The tears fell on our entangled hands.

"Kisse baat karenge hum, kisko bataenge apne dil ki baat, kiske saath hasenge or kese jiyenge... Ruhani --- aapko jana hai to chale jaiye lekin ek pal ke liye bhi mohobbat ki thi to yu jinda dafna kar mat jaiye... Khuda kasam mar jaenge, mar jaenge hum Ruhani,"

"Whom will I talk, whom will I tell about my feelings, with whom will I laugh and how will I live... Ruhani --- okay, if you want to go then you can go but if loved me even for a moment don't leave me like a living corpse... I swear I will die, I will die,"

I burst into silent cries and looked at her still not responding.

I stood up from the bed as my heart ached not able to see her this condition of more now. I palmed my face and washed the flowing tears.

I took a few steps back and then suddenly my sight on the strings of her kurti on the floor near the side table of the bed.

I walked closer to it and picked it up. The metre long velvet string brought a few memories to my brain and sat beside her again.

"Do you remember? Ruhani. How you made Rabia jealous with it?"

I muttered slowly and remembered the moment when I shamelessly told her that I would choke her but not to death when she denied to choke me with it.

She took the string from my hand and looked at me. Shaking her head she denied shyly and came closer to my cheek.

She pecked my lips lovingly and suddenly the faded noise of door opening caught our attention.