Ruhani ~ The Language Of Love

33 ~ I Love Him More

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Ruhani POV

I weakened even more with the grief now. My fingers trembling across the glass bangles and my tears were at the bank of my eyes. One blink and the drop would draw the line on my cheek.

All I wanted now was to stay away from him. The much I could. I just wanted to run, run faster as I could as I didn't know that my one stupidity would cost someone his life. Why the hell I didn't get enough courage over my fear? Why on earth I didn't take that two steps to save his father?

"Meharbaan,"

He called softly and I took silent deep breaths to control myself but those didn't help my tears falling off the cliff.

"Ruhani,"

He called again slowly and I gulped as more tears started falling off my eyes. He also gulped looking at my painful face and pulled me closer slowly. I felt his noticeably warm fingers taking my hand and I shifted with the pull. He collected me in a hug and kept his hand on my head muttering slowly.

"Shhh... no need to cry,"

My hands wrapped around his shoulder when I burst into cries remembering what happened to his father. My fingers fisted on his clothes and hiccuped between my silent cries.

I couldn't believe how I hurt the person whom I love, this much. I knew he had gone through a devastating past but imagining what he has actually gone through broke me. It broke me to the core. I was shivering badly and pressed my face into his chest. He kissed me on the head and muttered softly for consoling me.

"Jaan... this is all past. I have changed myself, I do not drink that much now. I do not visit pleasure houses and it's been five years now since I stopped going there. I promise, there was no other girl than you,"

I cried even more and a wave of pain crossed my chest. It felt as if my breathing was slowing down as it started demanding more effort to take the air in.

"Okay, Ruhani, everyone is watching. Please stop crying,"

I tightened my fists on his clothes even more and he kissed me one more time on my head, a longer one.

Suddenly, he tightened his grip around my waist and pulled me into his lap. My tears stopped immediately as the move made my face move from his chest to his shoulder. I straightened a little and dared to look into his eyes for a moment. His eyes had turned red as if his chest was filled with pain too. He washed the tear off my cheek and I closed my eyes. He brought his forehead closer and touched mine with his lightly.

My breathing was fast and my eyes were filled with tears and my heart with silent cries.

" Ye to jindagi ki hakikat hai Ruhani, khuda kuch deta hai to kuch le bhi leta hai... kisi ko khuda... or kisi ko to mukammal jahan bhi nahi milta! ---- Magar pichle kuch dino se is beintehah dard ka sabar aane laga hai hume, kyuki is tadap ka sila aap jo hai,"

"This is the reality of life, Ruhani. God takes something in exchange for a blessing. Some are offered the truth... while some just starve for even a well living.---- But, this never-ending pain of mine has started vanishing a little, as I see you as the reward of it,"

He said slowly with a hoarse voice and I broke into more cries hugging him tightly. My arms possessively snaked around his neck and our cheeks touched each other. He hugged me back tightly and I felt his one hand almost reaching to the other corner of my waist while the other placed on my head as if he had held a baby in his arms.