Ruhani ~ The Language Of Love

56 ~ Badshah-e-Sultanates

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Ruhani POV

I saw him walking away. The tears fell from my eyes with intensity with each of the steps he was taking away from me.

It was like my heart stopped beating and an unbearable pain erupted in my chest. My hand fisted on my clothes to control myself. It was not because now he knew, it was because now he was hurt again. And even beyond repair.

He was once again vulnerable, with no one to share his feelings with. He shared every bit of himself with me and now his trust was broken. His thread of love got broken.

I lost his last image from the front of my eyes and I lowered my teary gaze back to the floor. I did not know what would I do now. How would I gain his trust and love back?

But I knew that he needed time. He needed time to digest that he was in love with a person who was the reason his father died. He had all the right to be angry and mad and hurt and broken.

There was no excuse for what happened. There was nothing that could cure what happened over time. I knew explaining anything or talking could not even improve things.

Because he did not accuse me of killing his father. He asked me if I was the reason his father died. And, I surely was.

That means, he knew that I did not kill his father, it was the wild animal, the tiger who killed his father but now he knew the reason.

I was the reason because his father protected me. His father saved me. It was simple.

And, honestly, I could have saved or protected him. But, in the heat of the moment, I thought the knife might harm an animal that was not wild or harmful in eyes of a four-year-old naive child. I could have easily passed on the knife to him but a four-year-old could not think and protected that tiger from getting killed.

Then, my innocence cost me something I could not get even in seven lives.

I never even gave an excuse to even myself because I was wrong. And, this was a memory I never forgot. It haunted me and still does.

He was not wrong either. How could you feel love for someone and see someone's face knowing that she was the reason your father died?

He needed his time.

Or maybe it was over.

I cried even more.

"Begum,"

I heard the voice of Shaheen as she ran towards me and held to console me.

"Hold yourself,"

She said and I looked at her with a crying face. Her eyes also turned wet. And, she muttered slowly.

"Begum, you have to behave calmly and smartly. There are people in the Sultanate who can use this against both of you,"

She said and I took a deep breath. I tried to exhale and normalise my breathing. She was right. I really had to control myself and I knew he would soon come back to me.

He would understand and surely come back. I believed.

He had to come back for me.

I closed my eyes shut and tried to calm myself down but suddenly.

Suddenly, I felt like throwing up.

I immediately stood up from the floor, keeping my palm against my mouth. I pushed Shaheen aside and ran towards the empty bowl kept in the corner for spitting and waste liquid.