cursed⭐︎ᵐⁱⁿˢᵘⁿᵍ

one

The sun began showing its rays as it peeked through the white curtains, flashing right onto my face. I woke up, finally acknowledging the horrible migraine.

I looked to my right side, noticing my brother napping on a chair. I scanned the unfamiliar room just to realize I was in a hospital. 

Another failed attempt. 

A sigh slipped past my lips once a nurse came inside the room, telling me I was going to be discharged in a few hours.

"How long have I been here?" I curiously asked her.

"About a day or two? You slept for twenty hours."

Wow. I wasn't surprised, this wasn't the first time I tried to overdose, although it was weird because this was my very first time ending up in a hospital.

Stupid, Jisung.

I sat up, still feeling nauseous. My head was pounding so bad I was about to slam it into the wall in order to make it stop but I knew I couldn't.

What will happen now? Will I be sent to a mental hospital? Please, no..

My brother woke up and embraced me in a hug, catching me off guard, as if he heard my thoughts.

"Jisung, we talked about this before." he scolded in a cold yet hurting voice, looking straight into my unfathomable eyes.

"Can we just leave?" I whined out, sitting up from the bed, trying to ignore the internal pain my body was trying to conquer.

★

I entered the new place which I should now call home. We moved here, in this exact house, just a few days ago.

While exhaling silently I dragged myself up to my room, remembering how I chose it.

He scoffed and passed by me, going upstairs. I followed him but stopped right by the door in the middle.

What the hell?

"You look like you just saw a ghost. What is it?" my brother remarked, coming out of a room.

"You.. see this too, right?" I talked, my eyes not moving from that certain spot.

"Yes, Jisung. That's a door. I see it."

I blinked. Not once, twice. To make sure it was still there.

"Jisung I know it's late but quit playing around."

I looked again, this time closely, my eyes scanning the unfamiliar entrance that looked far from normal. Why were there words carved on it?

But now it was gone. Just like them.

"I.. I choose this room." I said, unsure of it myself.

"Then so be it. This is your room from now on— unpack your things and go to sleep, you've got work to do tomorrow." with that, he left.

I closed the door wanting nothing else than to be left alone.

This room was so lovely to me because of two reasons: it had a window right above the bed where I could always look at the stars. The second motive was the ensuite.

The three walls were painted white yet one was red, a cherry red I really liked. The desk where I studied every day and night was facing it, a few centimetres away from the door that lead to the bathroom.

The bathroom had a bathtub as well, a win-win situation. It was white with only one wall being grey, there was travertine placed on the floor and it was big enough for me.

I missed our old property a lot, it was where we grew up after our parents died. It was meaningful to me and I was attached to it.

Attached to the bed I cried on, attached to the bathroom where I relapsed whenever I felt like it, attached to the kitchen where my brother used to cook us food and lastly attached to the garden where I spent my mornings in.

Waking up from my sudden daydream I noticed how the room started to rotate as a wave of dizziness overcame me.

Not to mention the aftereffects of the pills and how sick they made me feel. Awfully ill.

I laid down in bed trying to ignore the voices inside my head, taking a deep breath.

Taking a nap would be a great idea, I thought.

So I turned the television on and played some nice music, closing my eyes. I tried to fall asleep but I felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest, showing no sign of slowing its pumping pace.

The feeling in my chest annoyed me— I could feel it bump into the ribs whenever I breathed.

After numerous minutes of trying to calm down, with no success, I checked the time as I looked at my phone screen.

"4:50 PM."

I sighed at the fact that it was still afternoon. I wanted tomorrow to come by faster, I had to attend an interview for a job.

Working in a café wasn't something I aspired to do but it was the best I could afford and the only job I could apply to that gave a pleasant salary.

"Jisung, come down and eat something!" my brother shouted from downstairs.

I headed to the kitchen while groaning, being met with the smell of chicken soup— one of my favourites. It tasted just right, especially when I felt unwell. I ate as much as my body could accept.

"Thank you for the meal."

★

I took a bath, did my night care routine (brushed my teeth and washed my face) then went to sleep. Well, tried to.

Lately, sleeping became more difficult.

Though I had trouble sleeping ever since I was little, it felt like it was getting worse and worse as I grew up. My mum used to hold me whenever I needed someone to be beside me.

But now, since she's gone, I ought to do something that could distract me; in this case the TV that is never resting during the night.

Why can't my brother hold me? Why was he being so cold towards me, I wondered.

I turned it on again and rested my head on the pillow, yawning as sleep took over my body.