cursed⭐︎ᵐⁱⁿˢᵘⁿᵍ

nineteen

Just like the day before, I woke up in pain but this time, everything hurt ten times worse. My head felt like exploding, my wrist was annoyingly aching, I wanted to rip it apart.

I carefully sat up, leaning against the cold wall. I observed the room, paying more attention to it now. There was some food on the nightstand beside my phone. There were pastel yellow coloured curtains hiding the area around the medical bed I was sleeping on.

I felt stuck, it felt like the walls were eating me alive, it was creepy. I wanted to run away, I hated hospitals. This wasn't the first time I ended up in one after trying to commit yet it felt like it was.

Right! My phone. I slowly stretched my arm to pick it up and succeeded.

10 unread messages from Minho

2 missed calls from Minho

3 messages from Felix

They reached out to me? I thought as I first opened Felix's messages.

Felix

hello, mate! Is everything
alright?^^
[friday: 10:38 AM]

hyunjin told me you weren't in
class
[friday: 10:39 AM]

jisung?
[friday: 11:24 PM]

                                           hello, everythings alright thanks :)
                                                                                  [today: 1:27 PM]
                                                             im sorry for not replying
                                                                                 [today: 1:27 PM]

I guess he really cares after all. I'm glad he exists. I am grateful for Felix but I don't know how to express that.

Next, I decided to answer Minho. I felt bad for ditching on him like that. I completely forgot about our hangout.

Minho

Jisung, the boys told me
you werent in class today?
[friday: 12:32 AM]

Are you feeling alright?
[friday: 11:32 AM]

Please tell me if something is wrong.
[friday: 11:33 AM]

Jisung? Its been a few hours..
[friday: 3:24 PM]

I went to the cafe, you werent there.
[friday: 6:19 PM]

Will we still be able to meet up tomorrow?
[friday: 8:24 PM]

Ill come over either way. Dont
ignore me.
[friday: 10:13 PM]

You arent opening up. Are you
even home?
[yesterday: 1:11 PM]

I talked with your brother. I'm
so sorry, Sung.
[today: 9:24 AM]

I'll come to visit you.🤍
[today: 10:26 AM]

Just as I was about to reply, the door opened. I couldn't see who it was hence the curtain was blocking my point of view, but I heard the nurse speak up.

She was talking to someone. My brother?

No.

Minho.

He came, he came to see me. He cared.

I closed my eyes as I felt disgusted with myself, wanting nothing else than to be buried six feet underground. I wanted to disappear, he knows, how was I going to act normal around him now?

He definitely thinks I'm some weird depressed who relies on self harming. Not far from the truth though.

"Sung.."

There he was. Minho, my friend. The only person who came to visit outside my remained family.

I gave him the widest smile. I was happy, genuinely pleased with the fact that he looked after me. What is this feeling?

"You really didn't have to come by.."

He shut me up by embracing me in a warm hug. The whole moment was so emotional even the nurse had to leave.

"I'm so sorry."

He pulled away and looked at me, his face showing an expression I couldn't define. We were just inches apart, though it didn't make me feel uncomfortable.

"I don't want to lose you too, Sung, please stay."

He pulled me into another hug, this time tighter. He wasn't going to let go anytime soon so I hugged him back.

Too..?

I could tell he was hurt, his eyes were glossy. I didn't know what to do. I envied him, he was so good at comforting people. I could have never done that, not like him.

His arms were wrapped around my frail body, it was almost like he was protecting me from evil.

We hugged like that for about five minutes, until he was ready to let go. He told me about school and what was new. He was acting like I missed a year, when truly, it was just a day.

We spent the whole day together. We got to know each other more, we talked about our interests and so on.

I was told I was going to be discharged tomorrow. I could finally go home and rest. I missed Bbama. I missed my cozy room, I missed it all.

He sat down next to me on the bed and caressed my arm, talking about whatever.

★

It was time for Minho to leave now.

"Thank you, so, so much for coming, Minho. I really do appreciate it. Thank you for being here for me. And I'm so sorry."

He hugged me and said his goodbyes, then left. I was exhausted, I had so much fun with him today. I felt happy and safe. I wanted to stay here forever, not in the hospital, but around him.

I went to sleep thinking about his cats he recently told me about, again. Soonie, Doongie and Dori. He even showed me photos of them this time! Soonie was orange, Doongie was whiter than his brother and Dori was a brownish grey.

All of them were so cute, I wished I could meet them one day. I think we would get along well.

I realized he made me happy. He makes me happy.

Is this what having a friend feels like?