cursed⭐︎ᵐⁱⁿˢᵘⁿᵍ

forty four

Tires screeched loudly at the impact yet I felt no pain. I was confused, I didn't know what was going on.

Saying that I was lost would've been an understatement.

Screams. All I could hear were people screaming in terror. I opened my eyes and saw grass. It was green, not red— to my surprise.

I turned around and now I understood why everyone was wailing.

He was, a few centimetres away, laying on the cement covered in blood.

"Fuck, Minho!" I shouted, crawling to him.

I rested his head on my lap, tightening my grip around his fragile body. Carefully, because it looked like he would break if I did any sudden movement.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, please don't leave me, Minho, please!" I cried out, unable to breathe.

He opened his eyes and stared into mine with that beautiful glimpse of his.

"Oh, I said I would take a bullet for you, didn't I?" he spoke, hurting.

I knew where this was going.

Minho chuckled, his life probably replaying inside his head.

"I said I'd be with you till my last breath, didn't I, Sungie?" the dying boy spoke. His whole body was bleeding, it was gruesome to watch.

So why were people ignoring the scene and not helping?

"Shut up, Minho! This isn't your last, hold on! Hold onto me, please!" I said while tears kept running down my cheeks.

"As I leave you in this one, I'll begin to look for you in the next. Don't look so down, alright? The next time we'll dance with the stars, together." Minho continued with all his remained strength, still brightly smiling.

"No!"

"I don't regret anything. Don't be afraid, you can do this, Ji. I'll be watching over you. If you ever happen to miss me, look up at the sky and the second shiniest star will be me."

Besides shaking my head in a 'no' motion I couldn't do anything else.

Just watching him slowly die.

"I promise I'll make the sunset pretty, just for you. I know how much you love it." he continued.

I cried my eyes out, wanting him to shut up already. His heart was beating slower and slower and his sweet words were forcing their way out of his bleeding mouth.

"I am everywhere and nowhere. I'm in your heart and I'll always be."

Gently patting his wounded head I sobbed, feeling helpless.

"When death takes my hand," he started as he held my own bloody hand close to his heart. " I will hold you with the other,"

"And promise to find you in every single lifetime, always and forever. Please take care of my babies and my mother, alright?" he spoke showing a grin but quickly stopped, it being replaced by a cough— he was coughing out blood.

"Live for me." he said, gently squeezing my hand.

Right then, one of the millionth tears of mine dropped on his cheek, mixing with his own salty drops.

"I love you, Han Jisung. I love you with my soul just incase my mind forgets and my heart stops. I love you! Thank you for being my soulmate..."

My soulmate stopped talking.

The sound of his voice was always pleasing to my ears. It was a symphony of a sound that resonated within my soul.

That's why I never wanted him to quit speaking.

His eyes closed. His arm fell down as his spirit left his weak hurt body. I cried, I sobbed, I screamed. No one helped me, no one asked anything. They all watched in silence as they called the ambulance. They always did that.

It was over for me, for us.

Over. Over. Over...

I looked down at his beautiful face one last time, hoping he wasn't gone just yet. Hoping he'd still hear what I had to say.

"Lee Minho, you held my soul in your arms even when it was hateful. I want to string together the prettiest words for you in hopes of fully conveying the depth of my gratitude, sincerely." I stuttered out, still holding onto his damaged hand.

I saw him yesterday. I saw him today. I even saw him a few minutes ago. I saw him saving my life. I saw his delicate body being ruined by a car. The, apparently familiar car, that was supposed to hit me. I saw it all.

"All the memories, all the fun. Your life ended when it was just starting. We were bond to be together, just like we promised." I spoke, choking on my own tears.

"Remember that, Minho? Now we'll be forever apart."

I knew that he was above me, above everyone, always looking down, still happily praising me.

Yet that wasn't enough for me. I did need Minho right by my side, I had always known this.

"My best friend. The person my heart chose, my soulmate. You, Minho, were my only support. The only one who never stopped believing in me."

But I couldn't accept the fact that he was better than me. The fact that he always helped me, he proved that I wasn't capable of taking care of myself alone.

Although.. I still appreciated him.

That's why my heart shattered. There was nothing left inside of me. My only reason to keep on living was no longer here.

The worst was that I had seen this before. I went through this many times; nevertheless, it hurt the same amount.

I can't take it anymore. 

"I would do anything to hear your voice just one more time, hug you and tell you how much I appreciate you." I continued, slowly embracing him in a one-sided hug.

The smell that felt like home, the smell I got used to. The only person who could make me feel safe, who could calm me down by just wrapping their hands around me and telling me 'everything will be okay.'

It was all gone now.

"I was a fool. I believed you, I trusted you with my life. You ended up leaving too, right?"

But I'll miss you, forever.

The absence of his presence was going to forever be missed as it left deep wounds in my heart, scars that would never disappear as I express my sorrow through free-falling saline tears.

"Be patient, Min. I promise I'll be with you soon, no matter what. Wait for me, until our souls reunite."

It was hard to admit, especially in a moment like this. "I love you." I finally choked out, tossing his hair to the side.

I noticed how a little smile made its way onto his beautiful face which made me cry even harder. My heart hurt, I felt it tear apart.

Minho.

The boy I will never forget.

No matter what, he'll always shine in my heart and live within me.

I finally said it again as I hugged his lifeless body one more time, scared that if I did let go he would disappear.

Please let this be a dream. I hoped that when I would wake up, I would be next to him watching our favourite movie.

Or eating ice cream together. Or going out with Bbama. Or singing and dancing together.

Right, life seemed fun when Minho was around.

I never got the chance to see him majestically dancing. He never got the chance to hear me sing.

Looking down one more time, I couldn't help but shout. "Don't leave me now, asshole!"

I lost my soulmate.